I'm Over Contract Work, Thanks

I have been working on-contract since 2006, when Cingular bought AT&T and handed me over to a boss who was "passionate about delivering quality metrics." I had no upward mobility in that organization, and was so angry about the jackload who was managing me at the time being allowed to manage at all that I took off. I said "Later days, better lays" and went the contract route. It's been good and bad and not great ever since then. Sometimes it's been a clusterfist. It has all been about making money, and that's not always a good thing. When you're making money, more than some folks you work with, you can still be on the shit-end of the butt-wiping stick.
Here "why" is.

Apropos of nothing, I can NOT get a good cup of coffee today. It's thrown my day off-center. Usually I get 2 cups of coffee in over the day, with 2 cups of green tea in there, but ride my ears if I find a decent cup in this dump. MultiBILLION dollar comp'ny, zip-point shit for coffoise. BALLS.

Contract work allows one the freedom to move from company to company as soon as you screw up a project. If you're good at what you do, like I am with building requirements, determining requirement-design gaps, project management, business intelligence, interviewing, and redirecting fart-blame, your contract runs out close to the time you achieve Full Immersion and Momentum! on a project. Kinda like being in the act of coitus and the interruptus happens right about the time you realize you're setting some new stamina record, but OH HERE COMES THE FANTASY SYRUP and then BLAP...
you're cleaning out your desk with a loin-heat unlike any you've ever felt, and you're out of work again.

But if you're under 30, unmarried (or financially secure with your partner's money), and without children, Contracting is a great way to build a resumé. Otherwise you wanna get in a place and put down roots. Here's why:

Contractors are treated like rent-a-Cops at concerts. Necessary, sure. Doing a job some folks could not do, or are just too busy for. You are good enough to work AT, but not FOR, that company. Don't forget that.
Contractors get scraps. If your company has an all-day off-site meeting with guest speaker Alfonso Ribeiro, that's EMPLOYEES ONLY, mmkay? So you sit tight and finish working while the Employees go nuts watching The Carlton Dance up-close.
Benefits aren't great. 3rd-tier health care. Little/no retirement investing. You're on your own to drop $ into a Roth IRA or 401k, and don't expect the consulting company you're with to match it.

So I am 100% thankful for, but now totally over, my Contracting experience. I am actively pursuing full-time, in-house positions with a number of companies, but I think a lot of it is going to be contacting my friends at these places. Which I'm happy to do. I interview a lot so I'm comfortable widdit. I just hope the coffee doesn't taste like trucker underwear.

Not that I have perspective.
--==--==--==--==--
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

No. 1 to No One - Football!

Anybody who follows professional football... there goes half the readers I LOVE YOU GUYS NO MATTER WHAT, COME BACK THIS WEEKEND!... knows the story of Jamarcus Russell. Drafted by the Oakland Raiders in 2007, this mountain of a quarterback had a lot of physical prowess. He could whip a ball 60 yards WHILE ON HIS KNEES. Pretty quick. Strong. But that's about it. Lots of guys like that in college. What makes a Quarterback a QB are his mental toughness, willingness to learn, leadership ability, and willingness to tag only the finest ass in the Western Hemisphere (see Brady, Tom and Bundchen, Gisele).

People jump Russell's case because he dropped out of the league so fast it made Ryan Leaf look like Lou Groza. I feel bad for Russell in some sense, because it's nobody else's business if the guy didn't have the character-foundation necessary to carry the load of a #1 pick for a crappy team with an insane owner and an even-worse fanbase. Cases in point:

That dude's not even on the team, people. He's not even on the roll-call for the work release that pulls trash after home games. As for Mother Girth up there, let's hope that's the last of the line. Would YOU want to entertain these folks with the threat of a 308-lb D-end dropping you face-first from the blindside? You could pay me enough to do it, believe me. And I could probably do it better than Russell.

But here's the issue... everybody says Russell wasted his talent. He didn't have the talent to be a professional QB. The only person who should truly be hit in the face a lot is Al "Zombie Eyes" Davis.Al's owned the Raiders far longer than most thought he'd be alive for, and made bad pick after bad pick, as if it were a video game and not an actual sport based on Madden. He decided to bring Jamarcus in and sign him and exalt him with the status, and everybody leapt to the edge of the lion pit to see if Jamarcus could handle it, for a guaranteed $31,000,000, or $2,009,160 after California taxes.

Russell bombed. Horrible. Unfocused, out of shape, not a QB for the NFL. So leave him alone. When you get shitcanned from The Juice Goose next month nobody's gonna torchsong your ass out the door. You're fired. Take your millions and go. And this idea that Russell wasted his talent? How about he had the tools and had no idea how to use them and didn't really give a shit about using them? And he took millions from one of the worst owners of one of the worst teams and decided to get drunk instead. BFD.

Russell walked with millions in his pocket, somewhat of a college education, and some time as a celebrity. He didn't have what it takes, and the fact he got as far as he did with thick of a head on his shoulders is a miracle. Like when a movie star dies before 50, there's some sort of outpouring of tragic empathy, how they "left us too soon." How do you know their involvement in the art, the sport, or even car detailing didn't keep them alive longer than their drug habit wanted? Russell's out. He's rich. He's fat. He did a shitty job and still walked with millions. He may not be a QB in the NFL, but he appears to have what it takes to be a CEO in corporate America.

Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

Big Brother Sleeps In, Farts On Little Sister

Let's all admit right now that we have no clue how the government works. You can state all you just copied from a Wiki entry, but on penalty of asshole-waxing you cannot tell me what the Checks & Balances are. (it's how Government sets the standard for all corporations to stifle anything before it gets out of control and actually gets work done) But somehow our government, where the average representative - that's the place where there are 435 of 'em pulling a $174K salary - works a 3-day week in between committee meetings. And getting Lobbyist luncheon BJs. And bathing in slime.

So our Government cannot find a budget that works so they'll just quit and not show up? Sorry, there's no money to keep the lights on for a day? Bullshit. Get in there and fix that shit. This is the GOVERNMENT, it's somewhat important to people who think community activity isn't worth the time. It's maddening, truly. Big Brother wants to sleep in. Wants to roll over, take a rip off the bong, and nap until the weekend. Aren't we throwing firepower down Libya's throat for some reason dressed up to make it not look like oil?

They need to just go in there and push some shit around, look busy. Until now it doesn't appear anything has been done anyway. Seriously. And we're all too upside down in our tent mortgages to have the bag to skip a day of work, and REALLY shut the show down. You want to enact change, you don't vote. You get 50% of a workforce to dis-a-fucking-ppear for a Tuesday with no explanation. Send a message about who is in control.

Same thing in Washington, DC. This article tells the tales of those who are really affected by the stoppage: People making the $30K-$50K a year who're just scraping by in the economy's wet-fart of a recovery. The people who make the coffee, sweep the floors, shine the shoes, cut the hair, fold the shirts, make the meetings, unlock the doors, mop the bathrooms... they disappear for ONE DAY... shit'll get changed. Kinda like a "Day Without A Mexican," but documented.

Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

A Few Thoughts

• Truth is, you're not gonna find better prices for pantry-staples than at Trader Joe's. Bread, eggs, dairy, coffee, cereal, sun-dried tomatoes, the entire pasta/sauce family, frozen foods, etc... (but not cheese) are, across the board, a better price and value than most any other store you will shop at.
• The internet is as good for researching and diagnosing a problem as it is at creating paranoia and confusion over a proper diagnosis of said problem.
• There's no excuse for a grown-man with a desk job to smell like a batting helmet.
• Every fitness product is aimed at getting you to feel that your quality of life would be better if you were more comfortable taking your shirt off around strangers. In fact, that mindset would reflect a mental deformity no amount of AggroTrim could burn off.
• Sometimes you're slowed down because the guy in front of you isn't driving well. Sometimes you're slowed down because you aren't driving well. Sometimes the guy in front of the four guys in front of you is driving poorly, slowing everyone down. Odds are you can relax and not tailgate me. If you're reading this, you probably don't tailgate others. This may have been pointless.
• Time is one of the few resources we have, that we can actually decide how efficiently it is used. The best way to use it, often, is to remind somebody that they aren't allowed to waste yours, then put your headphones back on and finish your blog.
• Though the Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions (who bid that job?), I truly never want to lead anybody down it myself. I've had good intentions when talking with friends or loved ones about an issue they seem to be tied-to, and it doesn't always go well. But sometimes you have to wake the person up to tell them their house is on fire.
• I hope, in the end, I don't have the lingering regret that I didn't do something which could have greatly helped somebody else, just because I thought they may take it the wrong way. (See previous statement)
• I really kind of feel like I wasted most of my 20's, but I did bring some key lessons of Life out of it. And I probably owe some apologies to a few people.
• I think I'm an Ayurvedic type-B, but a Blood Type-A, which are similar dietary types.

Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

Insurance Policies & Other Horseshit

Greetings;

In the past, whenever I was an employee of a company, I had health coverage supplied by my employer. In the past 5 years since I began working on-contract it has become more difficult to guarantee coverage. There is often a 90-day working period without coverage. Monthly COBRA payments often cost over $1,000 for "peace of mind." I am currently working on-contract again, and have to supply my own health coverage entirely. And cannot get it. And I'm not sure I want it.

Health Insurance companies generalize and blanket a judgment of a level of care a person may need, based on a questionnaire you must fill out for the insurance provider. Proof-positive that we are looked at as statistics, not patients, and especially not people. This is true when they "score" a person's health history questionnaire. That score determines whether or not you have the ability to pay into the pool of money you may need to cover a doctor's visit. Or a hospital stay.

I recently paid out-of-pocket for a doctor's visit and my prescriptions. Total was $290. Had I paid into the plan I had applied for, I would have paid THE SAME payments toward the deductible, as well as the monthly $170 premium for them to keep track of my money for me. I had to go to a walk-in clinic instead of my choice of care-provider. I got most of what I needed. $170*2months = $340 + $40 of co-pays = $380. Simple math.

So sit tight if you have health coverage already. Don't set out on your own. Don't skydive, or drink too much, or take up Tokyo Drifting or self-tattooing. Do nothing whatsoever. Let your government make the case for you that you are worthy of a health care plan, THE WETNESS OF THE AMERICAN DREAM... and force you into taking one.

Ironically enough, I am currently on-contract for a major Health Insurance company. They shall remain nameless out of courtesy to those I work with, and the round-about ways money makes it to my pocket. So don't ask. From what I can tell, this company (also a non-profit firm) is doing all it can to keep things flowing, and as complicated as the Inflow and Outflow of claims and money goes these days, I'm amazed we don't just give our favorite doctor $1000 at the beginning of the year and say "tell me when I'm down to the last $200."

That kind of stuff'll make you sick, crazy, and in need of in-patient psych work. More than you need now, I mean.

====

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad

MC, MASTER OF CEREMONIES, HOSTING, HOST, COMEDY, SEATTLE, EVENTS, ORGS, EVENT, PARTIES, FUNDRAISING, NPO, NON-PROFITS

What Twitter Is

If you're wondering about what Twitter is, you're likely well-versed in things other than the latest how the internet is using all 9 hands to shovel your free time (i.e. bandwidth) into its gaping pipeline. Frankly, I'm not sure what Twitter is, NOW. I know what it was intended for. But like every piece of technology, from the wheel of cheese to the atomic bomb, idiots get their stinky fingers on it and skew the intended use of it.

There's a "trending" section in Twitter that states what people are talking about. By adding a "#" to the beginning of a word or words, Twitter begins logging which words are "#"ed and sees that "trend" and makes a "list" of who "is" tweeting about the topic. For example, "#GeoffLottIsAnAss" should, but won't, make the top 10 topics.

So the sociological aspect of Twitter is found in that you can see who is using it by looking at the Trending Topics. Twitter is a way for people to feel that other people are hanging on their every word. So yes, it's narcissistic - unlike blogs, which are almost narcissistic but mostly masturbatory. It's more take than give. (thank you)

And by looking at microcosms of society you get to see snapshots of what the "hoi polloi" think, feel, speak of, and want to have sex with.

Here are some recent high-points under the topic "That's Why You Hate Me"

• I'm not the fAther of ur baby #ThatsWhyYouHateMe (he may not understand "hate")
• i took a shit when you were in the shower &#ThatsWhyYouHateMe ever seen a grown man cry <#funniestshitever #epic #smh (this was from a woman)
• I tell you the reality of ur life and#thatswhyyouhateme.. bt come 2 think of it, do u really hate me or are u just angry at the truth..lol (did you really just Laugh Out Loud and need to document it?)
• I ghost hunt to get your Boo snatched#ThatsWhyYouHateMe (I have no clue...)
• 'Cause I can't do nothing right#thatswhyyouhateme (such as construct sentences)
• I see myself as a superior being #ThatsWhyYouHateMe But I'm don't a superior being (thanks for clarifying)

There are times I hop in the top trends to tweet to the idiots who may be reading it, and that shows what I think of myself and the people trending: They're dumb, and I am better than them, but not secure enough to not tell them, so I have to let them know in they own language, whaaaat?

So that's Twitter: A snapshot of short thoughts thrown into the webosphere by people with nothing better to do. That must suck.

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad

Customer Disservice Chronicles, No. 8

The Following Letter has been sent to Costco Wholesale Headquarters. News updates as warranted.

July 21, 2009

RE: Customer Service at
Costco Wholesale
13463 Washington Boulevard
Marina del Rey CA 90292


I visited the above-noted Costco store twice in the past week. In our first visit, my wife and I re-upped our membership dues, even though we shop less-frequently at Costco. But throughout the year, yes, the savings do come back to us, so it’s worth it! We’ve always had good experiences with Costco. Which is why today’s interaction with some employees threw me off a bit.

I arrived prior to 10a.m., which I thought was late for Costco to open, but I’m rarely shopping there at that hour so I don’t know the times well. As the doors lifted we were told this was the time only for “Executive Members.” There were perhaps 100 people there. I can’t imagine a large number of shoppers stayed away due to not being “Executive Members,” but instead were at work to earn money to spend at places like Costco. I didn’t check the hours on-line because I wasn’t near a computer, but also because 10a.m. seems like a reasonable hour to shop.

I was there to drop off a prescription for contacts. That’s all. I wasn’t allowed in either side, not the entrance nor the Member Services area near the exit. The only explanations were “Executive Members only!” and when I asked if I could drop the Rx off and pick it up later, the woman shook her head and said “Nope, sorry.” My time was shot, basically. I wasn’t going to wait an hour just to hand somebody a piece of paper. Was the Optical Department open? I will never know. I got a “Nope, sorry” and she turned to talk to somebody else. Should I come back another time? When is good for you? Are you looking for people who appreciate their jobs?

Perhaps I can have an explanation of why a Gold Star member has to wait until 11a.m? I’m hoping that the Executive Members are treated to special events inside, prior to 11a.m. Free coffee and a scone bar, everybody loves free food. Maybe a private concert by adult-contemporary legend Kenny Loggins, or perhaps a relaxing massage as they stroll the aisles in beautiful, Executive Membership Fee Paid-for Silence. No kids. No screaming. Nobody walking away from their cart which they’ve left blocking the middle of a main aisle while pondering the 3lb. bag of almonds (really a good deal, I have to admit) or make small-talk over a sample of a taquito (they have no intention of buying the taquitos).

Is this the utopian shopping experience I am missing?

I don’t really care. I just wanted to hand somebody my contact prescription and get it later, way out of my normal travel route. And what I left with was a “Nope, sorry.” Next time I want to be treated like my presence is pointless, I’ll do it someplace without a membership fee.

So I’m speaking for at least some of the Gold Star riff-raff when I say that I don’t mind paying my fee for the Savings I get from Costco, but perhaps some of the fee should be diverted to a class for “How to talk to Customers without coming off like you can’t be replAced”-types. Nobody’s perfect. But the effort counts.

Sincerely,

Geoff Lott

Big News!

Things are going better every day here in the City of Angels.

The past weekend of shows at Parlor Live, in case you didn't make it out, were Awe-and-then-some. It was a riot to come back to the homegrounds and play for a new group of people, and to work with the ever-hysterical Collin Moulton. That guy's good for any type of comedy. Political, goofy, smart, weird, he's got it all. And he can choke you out.

Majorly big Thanks! to all of you who came to the shows. We're working on getting back there in a few months. And if you're in a part of the country other than Seattle, let me know you want me to come see you, and I'll dial it up for your local club!

Other news!
I'm finishing The Book soon. It's been a couple years in the making, but it's going to be a great piece to get out to the world. Based on three influential experiences of my life (2 books + 10 years in corporate america), this book is for anybody who has ever worked in an office, worked as a Consultant/Contractor, and thought to themselves... "I must have done something awful in a previous life."
The goal of the book is to get it out there on the cheap, sell a ton of copies, and to do some touring behind it, sell it like crazy to big companies, and bring levity to a world where the workplace is sometimes the cause and cure of our ills. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN HEARING MORE ABOUT THIS BOOK, EMAIL ME! I want to start building a group to push the book!

Los Angeles Comedy Festival! I have two nights at the Festival this year. Hopefully we'll bring a good number if Industry gangstas into the shows. This is my first "big" show in LA, and I'm excited to knock this thing outta the park.

And if you ain't heard yet... we're having a baby!

Stay funny, stay awesome, stay positive. It's gonna work out.

AND I NEED A JOB, so if you're a company looking to hire somebody smart, who knows how to be a team-player and will kick much ass... let me know, would ya?

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad

Credit Counseling, a Vid-yo

Check it out! New video up at FunnyOrDie.com!

Credit Counseling; a Geoff Lott Rules product - watch more funny videos

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad

It's Done Been Rung

2009 is here.
2008 was nuts. Total shakedown year, the louts and losers and mooches got a LOT of heat in '08. I am still disgusted with the bailout situations for large banks, while a lot of people were losing their homes and H2's. Per usual, my ability to see both sides of a situation keep me from really taking a side. I think the predatory lenders at the banks were likely less-than-forthcoming about fees and upwardly-adjusting interest rates that would hike mortgage payments. I have had my own run-ins with those fart-savers, and when you work on a commission, of COURSE people will work the money in a way that says "It works out for YOU, the Buyer!" GREED, get it? Greed got most people. I love it.

The automaker bailouts, wow... it's amazing how corporations in our country can be so poorly-managed (like Mohan Gyani and John Zieglis running AT&T Wireless into the iceberg of old technology), and STILL walk away with millions of dollars in "severance pay." If most people at their jobs make a bad decision, a project goes a couple thousand over budget, or worse, the 6-foot sub sandwich has NO... CHEESE... But when you fail to LEAD a company as a CEO or President in a progressive direction, including adversiting, market position, and apple-bottomed spokesmodels who like MY comedy, and STILL get BILLIONS of dollars to correct your mistake, well sheeeeeit, why even try the first time? FORD is not taking any money, by the way. They have decided to work it out on their own. They are making more and more Hybrids, as are most companies. That won't be enough. We have a lot of unread newspapers and phone books, we MUST be able to extract some sort of energy from them.

So I'm happy to see that 2008 is gone. We started 2009 in Pismo Beach, a small-town, mid-Coast burg about 3 hours North of Culver City. It's the kind of town where, when you get a DUI, the officer takes you out for a beer afterwards. I got to perform 2 shows with Lisa Landry, a great comic from New York who moved out here with her husband and son a few months ago. We co-miserated over moves, as we, too moved, with a monkey-cat. Lots of drive time, my neck is a little tight. 2 Drunk Asspleats in the front row of show 2 nearly ruined it, though some people wanted them kicked out, right before being publicly stripped and face-crammed with a Dodge. The "manager" was a complete puss, walking into the room... after one of the guys pulled an Iraqi Confetti Moment and THREW HIS SHOE AT LISA... and the manager addressed the drunk f*ck by name and told him to "not embarrass (the manager)." His chace to be a hero, shot down so he could be "cool" in the eyes of this guy that he knows. More customers will remember THAT than how good the show was. And the bar-staff, including Gary "Comb On Over!" The Bar'sTender, just shrugged it off as if it were the comic's fault for not making a big stink about it.

I loved the shows, I'd do them again, and next time I'll make the kind of stink I usually reserve for the morning of Seis De Mayo.

So here we go. 2009. I'm not making resolutions or anything like that. Just regulating some things, and making sure I put some extra effort into some positioning. Things are to be done. Stop half-assing it and pretending it's not a problem. It is a problem. If nobody is talking to you about it, then you have a SERIOUS problem, and we only think you're sensitive about it. Get it checked out by a professional, get it fixed, and swallow your pride a bit so you can be Better. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Go get it.

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad

Taking A Break From the WebFilth, Are We?

The internet, or as George W. Bush once called it, "Library TV," (unconfirmed) is nothing if not full of pointless ramblings. Like this blog, now nearing 600 posts. I have totaled, between this one and my MySpace blog, nearly 1,000 posts. I have no idea if anybody actually reads these on a regular basis. But if you do, I cannot thank you enough, nor legally within the laws governing the sovereign state of Cambodia. I love writing, being creative, and expressing my views on lighthearted issues, like heroin use and terrorism, and the hard-hitting topics like what food is truly unacceptable to offer publicly at work.

Goldfish Crackers? Somebody once put the little Pepp'ridge Fa'm happy fish snacks... INTO A COFFEE FILTER-AS-BOWL... onto the counter in the kitchen at work. As though it was a viable snack option.

"Hey," th'idiot thought, "I like these crackers! I am a good person! I will share my crackers I like with work people I like!"

REALLY? Then why leave them anonymously?
Is this a day-care or a place I go to between "fun" and "sleep?" Next time, just blow gas in my cubicle and leave the culinary insults in your desk drawers. Get the trots on your birthday, jackload. Those are a third-tier salad topper AT BEST. Eat a fart.

So, the internet gave each of us with a computer and an internet connection, or access to our friend's resources so that we couldn't be tracked by the Gub'mint! when reading Chow Mein Kampf: Cooking For Facists, the ability to connect with data we never knew existed. Information. News. Sports records. Urban legands. Keith Urban. John Legend. Keith Stubbs. Celine Dion's clothing designer, who may be blind. And pictures that, as a society, we have absolutely no need to see, no use for, nor should be judged for looking at.

But there's now a visibility into human lives which was not likely anticipated by people willing to open their lives up. In other words, people are putting their lives on display, and it's as fascinating as it is frightening. I am both embarrassed and empowered by what I see.

The truth is that we love the gossip, the dirt, the dredged-up hintings and naughty bits of a person's life, words thrown into the webosphere for our consumption...

AS LONG AS THE DREDGINGS AREN'T FROM OUR EMOTIONAL SINKHOLES. As long as we aren't the subject of the dirty whispers, we're usually okay with the whispers existing. Truly, they've always existed. But this netosphere gives people a key element that previous generations lacked: The assumption that people give 2 hard pushes about what they have to whisper about.

I include myself in that realm. I write to entertain myself as much as I think there are people actually WAITING to read this, like they have NOTHING to do all day long except pine for my brain droppings here. I do thank you, Dear Reader, for ever and forever, for staying with me this long. I will write this forever just so that people will continue reading (P.Diddy's fans now just go with the Video Blog), and so that anybody who can't read will stop trying to be my friend.

The web gives us a place to air our grievances, among other things in need of airing. I have been in a number of on-line squabbles, and found them as exhilirating as they are dumb, if not totally pointless. The internet is the ultimate in Passive Activity, if there is such a thing. Doing "something" from a chair, or a Kentucky Gropin' Hammock if that's your thing.

But one's heart races when all of this visual and aural stimuli rushes into our sensors, and perhaps it feels like we're doing somethin'.

The internet can be used to do things, like order items, pay for ordered items, and then report the ordered items as "missing" when she shows up and runs away from you because AGAIN, you must stop ordering brides on-line.

Or STALKING! You can find somebody to be obsessed with for whatever reason, and spiral completely out of control. And you'll swear up and down that they just aren't getting the real YOU, and they need to meet you in order to find out that you are NOT stalking them...

you're just hacking their email and phone records to make sure that nobody is, indeed, stalking them. Cyberstalking is still stalking. Sorry.

Online gaming is another way to use the internet while pretending you've got a life.

Overall, this is a necessary and wonderful tool that has been sullied by perverts, pre-verts, awful bands, unsightly "models", and the government. Please do not think that the internet is an evil machine. It is a reflection of the makeup of humanity.

And all that has been going on within the Webosphere, the degradation, the love-sharing, the snakeoils, the snake handling, the purchase of kidney-extraction forceps, has forever been happening. Recipe trading, cake making, and people sneaking in to love-make to the cake (You Google that on your own!). It's all been happening prior to the internet.

But thankfully, with technology in our lives, all the good people have a place to watch the pervs from a safe distance. But we are NOT stalking them! Really, who has the time?

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad

Financially Advised #1

In the past year my wife and I have made huge strides in our financial health. It has been through hard work, grumbling, and hours of sitting down and making a budget that we could live by. By "Budget," I truly mean a Plan that is down to the last dollar being accounted for.

Savings. Groceries. Gas. Oil Changes. Property taxes. Personal Spending money. Everything. Every month.

She's done the hard part, by marrying me. From there, we took a class last year called "Financial Peace University" from Dave Ramsey's family of teaching. It changed our outlook on life, and therefore, it changed our lives for the better. I owe a gigantic blank check from the bank of my love to my wife for this. It works.

So I wanted to share some of this with you, what we learned, in case you've got some money issues. This ain't for everyone, but here's the first lesson we learned.

1) DEBT = DEATH. Stop pulling it in on yourself. Here's how.
A) Pay your monthly minimums on credit cards and debts until you have $1,000 in your Savings account. This is your Security Fund. Freeze your cards in a glass of water in the freezer and stop using them. They are holding you back and down like an anchor, giving you excuses to not do what you want to do in life. Stop. Now. It's like a drug, I know, I've been there. You'll have plenty of money once you...

B) Create a budget. You have to. How much do you spend a month on groceries? Do you know? Find out. Track it. Account for it. Gas money? Car insurance? Housing? Heating? Electricity? Phone? Internet? Do you really know? Only when you know, can you do something about it, much like a baby-daddy. How much are you bringing in? How much are you putting out? Get a spreadsheet worked up that shows where every dollar goes for the next 2 months. I'll send one to you if you need it, but you deserve the benefit of the effort you put in. You'll reap the rewards of a budget. I've never had more peace than when we did this. And every week we have money to spend on whatever else we want. Not a giant grip, but a good amount to spend on clothing, music, waxing, clown supplies, etc. And no need for credit cards.

C) Change your thinking: Building Wealth is Good; Buying Stuff I Don't Need Is Bad. If you NEEEEED to buy something every week, and you're still in debt, you're an addict and it's time to get some help. Britney, Paris, Kardashians, etc. shop all the time because they are EMPTY inside. Does that describe you? what are you filling your emptiness with? I fill mine with Comedy. And dark chocolate. But no longer do I drop $500 at IKEA because "it's time I get some new furniture to throw out in a year." The Joneses you're trying to keep up with either make waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more money than you, or financed the rims on another car they won't ever pay off in the garage of a home with 4 flat TVs they can't watch all at once. They are drowning in debt. You're sailing home to Wealth.

Think of how much you pay in your debts each month.
Think of that adding up in your checking account or savings account.
Now think of the vacation you could be on, RIGHT NOW, totally funded, if you didn't have that debt. What did you buy with that debt? Do you still Love it?

Is it time to change? Start today!
=0=0=0=0=0=0=0=
Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad

I Wrote Me Some Spec

YO!

This goes out to anybody who can help a brother out.

As you know, my background in cookbook photography led me to my current love of writing and small-animal drug-testing. Marmots "like," they do not "love" cherry NyQuil. Another time, how 'bout?

I wrote a spec script for a popular TV sit-com, or "show," and need to get it in front of every person with any kind of connection that I possibly can. I have it in the hands of two agents right now, but they are too busy representing people in Los Angeles who are in movies and television and commercials and make a lot of money doing what I ought to be doing.

SO, if anybody reading this has that kind of connection, and/or a good stuffed chicken-breast recipe, send me an email at GBLott at Hotmail dot com.

If I put the address there, it's gonna really get spammed. And honestly, if I could pay $660 a month for a $500,000 mortgage, I wouldn't need a boner pill.

Not that I need one know, I'm just saying, you know, if that were TRUE, you know, a rate like that... no need for a pill that... you get the picture.,

Geoff Lott, ME... I need some help!

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad