It is Lent, for those that know what I'm judging you for, and I had to give something up for it. I figured I'd look at what I'm doing, vice-wise, and drop one of the top 3 things. I'm pretty lame, when it comes down to "serious partying" these days. I don't drink enough, smoke enough, eat enough, wank enough, or go roof-shooting nearly often enough to warrant any of them to be dropped.
And I figured if I had to give up something that I wouldn't have to trot out an explanation for at a party, that's the best way to go. If everyone's throwin' down like Kennedy's at a 90th birthday party, or carb-loading on their way to an emotional crossing of the English Channel... and I'm sitting there with tepid water and a cracker, well COME ON, I'm gonna be the 8-baby-bearing Ut'rus Jackson at the party. Ev'a'body gonna wanna know. If nobody's doing the thing I gave up for Lent, then it's my secret and I won't have to say a thing about why I'm not joining in at the Mitzvah.
Then a circle jerk broke out... Damn it.
Next year, I'm giving up Attrition.
My Blog About My Dad
Geoff Lott: Comedian, Writer, Philosoteur. I am here to amuse you, not entertain you. If not now, later. If not you, somebody else. If you can't laugh at yourself, that's just fine, too. I will do it for you.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Experts Wanted... Recruiters Needed!
I keep getting job search results wherein companies are looking for "A-Players," "First Teamers," "Expert Minds," and "People Who Rock and Are Irreplaceable."
Because the Smartest, Most-Expert, First-Team, 2 MBA-having people are, of course, looking for jobs right now. They were all released by their companies after Jan1'09. They will take a pay-cut. They can't wait to go through 3 interviews with snooty recruiters who are likely "making busy" while their company isn't hiring anyway, yet HR has to look like they have a LOT going on. That would never happen! Even though I had 4 recruiters tell me that frequently happens in between margaritas.
Hey, look, I've applied for a LOT of jobs in Los Angeles. From Branch Manager of a Financial Planning firm (Underqualified) to General Mister Stocker Help at a grocery store (Overqualified), I haven't seen what's-what for me here. I know what I really SHOULD be doing here; full-time comedy and writing and entertaining us through the recession and on-up. But in the meantime, as that keeps gaining momentum, I apply for jobs as a Business Analyst on a regular basis. And ain't shit coming back.
When I have talked with recruiters, they say one of two things:
1) Great resume! Looks really good, but this company isn't really hiring right now.
2) I'm not sure you want to drive to Ontario, CA every day for $19/hour.
So look, the A-List Business Analysts aren't really available. I quit a job to get down here to make things happen, and it's happening more quickly (this town moves pretty slowly, unless you're a Judd Apatow project or protege). I'm no B-Teamer, and I'm willing to work.
I'd ask you to contact me if you're looking to hire an intelligent, white, English-speaking, responsible, educated, teachable gentleman, but why should I? That's what led me here.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Because the Smartest, Most-Expert, First-Team, 2 MBA-having people are, of course, looking for jobs right now. They were all released by their companies after Jan1'09. They will take a pay-cut. They can't wait to go through 3 interviews with snooty recruiters who are likely "making busy" while their company isn't hiring anyway, yet HR has to look like they have a LOT going on. That would never happen! Even though I had 4 recruiters tell me that frequently happens in between margaritas.
Hey, look, I've applied for a LOT of jobs in Los Angeles. From Branch Manager of a Financial Planning firm (Underqualified) to General Mister Stocker Help at a grocery store (Overqualified), I haven't seen what's-what for me here. I know what I really SHOULD be doing here; full-time comedy and writing and entertaining us through the recession and on-up. But in the meantime, as that keeps gaining momentum, I apply for jobs as a Business Analyst on a regular basis. And ain't shit coming back.
When I have talked with recruiters, they say one of two things:
1) Great resume! Looks really good, but this company isn't really hiring right now.
2) I'm not sure you want to drive to Ontario, CA every day for $19/hour.
So look, the A-List Business Analysts aren't really available. I quit a job to get down here to make things happen, and it's happening more quickly (this town moves pretty slowly, unless you're a Judd Apatow project or protege). I'm no B-Teamer, and I'm willing to work.
I'd ask you to contact me if you're looking to hire an intelligent, white, English-speaking, responsible, educated, teachable gentleman, but why should I? That's what led me here.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Lawbreaking ASSessor Gets DUI Investigationated!
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
I am very thankful that nobody got hurt in this accident, after Fartbag Noble U-Turned on I-5 and went face-to-face with a Jeep Liberty and 2 young ladies. Very happy they are okay.
Here's why Noble's a mid-Summer's night bag of catshit on feet.
Home values in King County are down to lowest levels in 4 years.
Yet he raised the "assessed value" of properties, raising property taxes for the year.
In an already heavily-taxed state.
Therefore the Free Market is not in control, Capitalism is not in control. One office is in control. "We think it should cost X Amount."
If I could get somebody to buy it for X, then Y haven't I sold it yet? Because Zhit's sits for too long and ain't nobody looking to buy a condo in Kirkland. Yet. Again, a man with some shit to bury got hisself into a bad situation. Makes me hope my skeletons are in order.
It's very likely that he is right in some bylaw, but I know what's right.
And if I can, I will directly say it to Noble's face; "You murderous drunken sot, I was the one who shat-painted the inside of your mailbox. Shalom, dickeyes."
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Noble, county assessor, under investigation after car wreck
King County Assessor Scott Noble is under investigation for vehicular assault after a serious accident last month on Interstate 5 that may have been caused by driving under the influence, according to a Washington State Patrol report obtained Tuesday.
========I am very thankful that nobody got hurt in this accident, after Fartbag Noble U-Turned on I-5 and went face-to-face with a Jeep Liberty and 2 young ladies. Very happy they are okay.
Here's why Noble's a mid-Summer's night bag of catshit on feet.
Home values in King County are down to lowest levels in 4 years.
Yet he raised the "assessed value" of properties, raising property taxes for the year.
In an already heavily-taxed state.
Therefore the Free Market is not in control, Capitalism is not in control. One office is in control. "We think it should cost X Amount."
If I could get somebody to buy it for X, then Y haven't I sold it yet? Because Zhit's sits for too long and ain't nobody looking to buy a condo in Kirkland. Yet. Again, a man with some shit to bury got hisself into a bad situation. Makes me hope my skeletons are in order.
It's very likely that he is right in some bylaw, but I know what's right.
And if I can, I will directly say it to Noble's face; "You murderous drunken sot, I was the one who shat-painted the inside of your mailbox. Shalom, dickeyes."
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Sunday, February 22, 2009
DECLARATION
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