Well... those waiting for another season of The Chappelle Show on Comedy Central gonna have to wait until Dave gets out the bin.
Poor foo' done gone and exhausted himself. The third season is only 4-5 taped sketches old, and ran into a ton of issues. The gang there was citing problems with creativity, illness, partying, and people constantly asking "Hey man, where the hell that Season 3 at?"
In the meantime, HAX-TV has reportedly been poised to usurp the throne of sketchy comedy shows. So heads up... Late June? I won't know until the last guest leaves the fundraising party tonight at Pegasus Pizza, thrown by Captain Morgan and Tylenol PM.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Geoff Lott: Comedian, Writer, Philosoteur. I am here to amuse you, not entertain you. If not now, later. If not you, somebody else. If you can't laugh at yourself, that's just fine, too. I will do it for you.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Blog
I'm not quite sure what to write about today.
Nothing stands out much in my mind as to what may be exciting or provocative, other than Oprah Winfrey being on the cover of every friggin' issue of her magazine. Just laying about in her own O-ness, being the O, live the O. Get O-ver yourself. Opers needs a writer, a good one, a Judy Gold or a Sarah Silverman. Well, to stay current, I'd have to nominate Killorn, who is a great writer, but her frequency is spottier than an anorexic's cycle. Oprah's really in love with being Oprah, and her efforts on the show has been pared down to the unwitty comment in that "yeahyounumsayngurrrl?"-corner-mouthed voice to get a laugh, and giving things to crying women. I guess she's worked hard to make hers the number one talk show in America. She found Dr. Phil, also, and hey, that's unforgivable.
Yeah, not much to talk about, other than wrapping up the purchase of a condo. First-time homebuyer here, a bit nervewracking but overall I think I'm keeping it together. I haven't cried thsi afternoon, fer-instance. The thought of investing in a something is cool, but the montly payments are going to jump up and bite me ass-wise. Oh well, at least I'll be able to paint the colors into my world as I see fit. Good bye off-white, hello Viking Mural. I will finally be able to resurrect my talents as the #8-rated Van Mural Artist on the West Coast. Vikings? Got 'em. Serpents? Don't insult me. Carson Daly getting Hot Carl'ed by Emmanuel Lewis in a HoneyBucket at KUBE Summer Jam? Can you stammer out "STANDARD?" I have to get some homeowner's insurance, ASAP.
I'm clueless as to where I should start here. I started writing some new material that I'm looking forward to honing. It's got some opinion, some goof, some weird, some titillation, mmmmm, I said it... It's going to have to get worked out on stage and on paper, but at first glance it's some of my best work yet. Not saying much for a guy who opened his sets early in 2004 by singing the Quizno's Subs screechy theme song made famous by the furry tumor pups.
I learned a valuable lesson yesterday as El Naranjo Blobbo celebrated having 50 million customers yelling into phones. The lesson?
Never reward monetarily what can be rewarded with free pizza. Cash comes and goes, but having the Hot Pocket studs from Network Security pawing at a deep-dish supreme, now that's forever. One of their ilk ate an entire box of Cheez-its in one day, washed down with Mountain Dew. So, not LESS genetic engineering, MORE. Put an enzyme in the foods purchased mostly by the trash sectors of society, an enzyme that, when a certain amount is ingested over a one month period, automatically sterilizes the ingestor. Whatever they eat most, give it a shot of something to kill reproduction. You could do with with Mt. Dew, Ripple chips, any flavor of Rind, PBR, Malt Liquor, and of course, boogers.
I guess I should just wrap this up and stop staring at the keyboard.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Nothing stands out much in my mind as to what may be exciting or provocative, other than Oprah Winfrey being on the cover of every friggin' issue of her magazine. Just laying about in her own O-ness, being the O, live the O. Get O-ver yourself. Opers needs a writer, a good one, a Judy Gold or a Sarah Silverman. Well, to stay current, I'd have to nominate Killorn, who is a great writer, but her frequency is spottier than an anorexic's cycle. Oprah's really in love with being Oprah, and her efforts on the show has been pared down to the unwitty comment in that "yeahyounumsayngurrrl?"-corner-mouthed voice to get a laugh, and giving things to crying women. I guess she's worked hard to make hers the number one talk show in America. She found Dr. Phil, also, and hey, that's unforgivable.
Yeah, not much to talk about, other than wrapping up the purchase of a condo. First-time homebuyer here, a bit nervewracking but overall I think I'm keeping it together. I haven't cried thsi afternoon, fer-instance. The thought of investing in a something is cool, but the montly payments are going to jump up and bite me ass-wise. Oh well, at least I'll be able to paint the colors into my world as I see fit. Good bye off-white, hello Viking Mural. I will finally be able to resurrect my talents as the #8-rated Van Mural Artist on the West Coast. Vikings? Got 'em. Serpents? Don't insult me. Carson Daly getting Hot Carl'ed by Emmanuel Lewis in a HoneyBucket at KUBE Summer Jam? Can you stammer out "STANDARD?" I have to get some homeowner's insurance, ASAP.
I'm clueless as to where I should start here. I started writing some new material that I'm looking forward to honing. It's got some opinion, some goof, some weird, some titillation, mmmmm, I said it... It's going to have to get worked out on stage and on paper, but at first glance it's some of my best work yet. Not saying much for a guy who opened his sets early in 2004 by singing the Quizno's Subs screechy theme song made famous by the furry tumor pups.
I learned a valuable lesson yesterday as El Naranjo Blobbo celebrated having 50 million customers yelling into phones. The lesson?
Never reward monetarily what can be rewarded with free pizza. Cash comes and goes, but having the Hot Pocket studs from Network Security pawing at a deep-dish supreme, now that's forever. One of their ilk ate an entire box of Cheez-its in one day, washed down with Mountain Dew. So, not LESS genetic engineering, MORE. Put an enzyme in the foods purchased mostly by the trash sectors of society, an enzyme that, when a certain amount is ingested over a one month period, automatically sterilizes the ingestor. Whatever they eat most, give it a shot of something to kill reproduction. You could do with with Mt. Dew, Ripple chips, any flavor of Rind, PBR, Malt Liquor, and of course, boogers.
I guess I should just wrap this up and stop staring at the keyboard.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Tony Danza, The Mayor Of Spokane, And Car Batteries
What are...
What are things that are falling over, gay, or dead, Alex?
Tony Danza's go-kart flipped while taping a segment for his show, produced by "Slow Learner" studios. Check it out HEEEEEEEEEEEERE.
I'll write more when I have time. For now, the Mayor of Spokane wants to cruise me 0n-line. I've seen Spokane, and there's a reason it's called "Washington' balloon knot."
===============
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
What are things that are falling over, gay, or dead, Alex?
Tony Danza's go-kart flipped while taping a segment for his show, produced by "Slow Learner" studios. Check it out HEEEEEEEEEEEERE.
I'll write more when I have time. For now, the Mayor of Spokane wants to cruise me 0n-line. I've seen Spokane, and there's a reason it's called "Washington' balloon knot."
===============
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Monday, May 09, 2005
Mondayne
Hey, how's it going?
Good, good.
This weekend was all over the place. My girlyfriend and I saw "Sahara" starring Penelope Cruz, Steven Zahn, and Matthew McConaghey's (spelling? like it matters) body. Thrill-a-minute, but a few scenes did test my "Willing Suspension of Disbelief." When I write my first action movie, it's going to be rife with henchmen stopping just short of peering around a corner, as their henchmates call them over to check something out.
Alicia and I killed time by checking out the Barnes & Noble store. Yeah, I'm pretty white sometimes. But anywho, we're checking it out and I realized how little I know about investing. I'm 31, and my nature has always been to save as much as I can, then use it to pay for a vacation or some sort of box-set. I have to change that. It's basically a change in values, wanting to be totally out of debt, operating "in the black" (which I rented on Saturday, WOW), and financially secure MORE than I want some sort of impulse-purchase. I doubt I'll be miserly, but I sure as hell don't need to go buy a new car when fencing a few hot rides will do just fine.
I want to be a millionaire. I know there are many people who say "money isn't everything." No, it's not. It IS, however, a tool with which to build and leverage certain opportunities in life with. I want to travel the world at some point, and last I checked, that's not totally free for non-military personnel, or "Civs" as we're called. I'd like a nice set of tools to use to create business and career opps for myself. If you can't say something nice, suck it dry.
I wrote a bunch of new jokes this weekend, too. Stuff has really come to me easily, from Special Effects in movies to Greeting Cards to my involvement with a religious sect in my younger days. Now I'm in the exhilirating mode of finding elements within them to riff from and write within parameters of. It's the most challenging part of writing for me, because I usually let it flow when I talk through a bit outloud in my living room. To sit and pull it out and stick it on paper can be weird. But I need to get back to what I know is my strongest talent: cold-cocking dickwads who step to me wrong. Also, last night I said Tom Hanks when I meant to say Tom Cruise, because my tongue wants me to stop getting laughs.
As the NBA Playoffs, Round 2: Revenge of The Fans kicks off this week, we get to hear the hyperbole of professional athletes, basketballers this time, talking about competition at this level. My favorite, that I've heard twice already, is "This is gonna be a war." Yes, it is. Just like the Vietnam War but with millionaires who leave the "battlefield" in $150 shoes and sleep in 4-star hotels and get pulled out of the "shit" in their Benzo SLk-350 and don't die, that kind of war. Yeah. Just like a war. Gawd, what an asshole. "Rasheed Wallace drives the lane... BOOOOOM... and trips the Bouncing Betty. What's left of his upper body will go to the line." Iraq War veterans vs. NBA Egos, next on ESPN-Mexico.
I gotta go do some stuff. Have a good Monday.
============-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-===========
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Good, good.
This weekend was all over the place. My girlyfriend and I saw "Sahara" starring Penelope Cruz, Steven Zahn, and Matthew McConaghey's (spelling? like it matters) body. Thrill-a-minute, but a few scenes did test my "Willing Suspension of Disbelief." When I write my first action movie, it's going to be rife with henchmen stopping just short of peering around a corner, as their henchmates call them over to check something out.
Alicia and I killed time by checking out the Barnes & Noble store. Yeah, I'm pretty white sometimes. But anywho, we're checking it out and I realized how little I know about investing. I'm 31, and my nature has always been to save as much as I can, then use it to pay for a vacation or some sort of box-set. I have to change that. It's basically a change in values, wanting to be totally out of debt, operating "in the black" (which I rented on Saturday, WOW), and financially secure MORE than I want some sort of impulse-purchase. I doubt I'll be miserly, but I sure as hell don't need to go buy a new car when fencing a few hot rides will do just fine.
I want to be a millionaire. I know there are many people who say "money isn't everything." No, it's not. It IS, however, a tool with which to build and leverage certain opportunities in life with. I want to travel the world at some point, and last I checked, that's not totally free for non-military personnel, or "Civs" as we're called. I'd like a nice set of tools to use to create business and career opps for myself. If you can't say something nice, suck it dry.
I wrote a bunch of new jokes this weekend, too. Stuff has really come to me easily, from Special Effects in movies to Greeting Cards to my involvement with a religious sect in my younger days. Now I'm in the exhilirating mode of finding elements within them to riff from and write within parameters of. It's the most challenging part of writing for me, because I usually let it flow when I talk through a bit outloud in my living room. To sit and pull it out and stick it on paper can be weird. But I need to get back to what I know is my strongest talent: cold-cocking dickwads who step to me wrong. Also, last night I said Tom Hanks when I meant to say Tom Cruise, because my tongue wants me to stop getting laughs.
As the NBA Playoffs, Round 2: Revenge of The Fans kicks off this week, we get to hear the hyperbole of professional athletes, basketballers this time, talking about competition at this level. My favorite, that I've heard twice already, is "This is gonna be a war." Yes, it is. Just like the Vietnam War but with millionaires who leave the "battlefield" in $150 shoes and sleep in 4-star hotels and get pulled out of the "shit" in their Benzo SLk-350 and don't die, that kind of war. Yeah. Just like a war. Gawd, what an asshole. "Rasheed Wallace drives the lane... BOOOOOM... and trips the Bouncing Betty. What's left of his upper body will go to the line." Iraq War veterans vs. NBA Egos, next on ESPN-Mexico.
I gotta go do some stuff. Have a good Monday.
============-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-===========
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Happy Mother's Day
I wanted to wish the Mom's of the world "Happy Mother's Day." You shouldn't have to cram all the attention into one day. For that matter, none of us should. Let's spread out some joy and/or chunky peanut butter of kindness over the toaster waffle of this great nation of ours in the next year.
Happy Mother's Day!
Pam, Stacy, Babs, Sue, Sunny, Amy, Judy, Judy, Judy, Sandie, Sonya (soon), Katie Amer, Karen, Marilyn, Jean, Weece, Michelle, Joanne, Wendy, Nancy, Sandy, Maggie, Chrissy, Kim, Melody, and to your mom, too, unless she's a harpy.
Aaaaaaand, in parting, any attempts by Killroy O'Hooterhan to blog a Mother's Day tome at this hour would be contrived. Michelle's on her way, and it's enough that you've cleaned the extra bedroom and flushed your body of toxins and meat, both of which are euphemisms I use for Tony "Born With A Tail" Moser.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Happy Mother's Day!
Pam, Stacy, Babs, Sue, Sunny, Amy, Judy, Judy, Judy, Sandie, Sonya (soon), Katie Amer, Karen, Marilyn, Jean, Weece, Michelle, Joanne, Wendy, Nancy, Sandy, Maggie, Chrissy, Kim, Melody, and to your mom, too, unless she's a harpy.
Aaaaaaand, in parting, any attempts by Killroy O'Hooterhan to blog a Mother's Day tome at this hour would be contrived. Michelle's on her way, and it's enough that you've cleaned the extra bedroom and flushed your body of toxins and meat, both of which are euphemisms I use for Tony "Born With A Tail" Moser.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
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