The Geoff Lott Rules Live Tour Of Comedy & Talking

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Friday, March 14, 2008

Head's Lines

NASCAR: A widely-attended, wildly popular sporting event where people compete by driving high-powered cars for 500 miles. Even more impressive at today's gas prices. Is there a reason there haven't been more protests over the environmental impact of this sport, and it's attendance, all being centered around cars, cars, cars, gas, tires, gas, cars, and beer?

When is the BioHybrid 200? Pegging a Prius at 72 will be thrilling for each of the 37 people in attendance. Pitstops now include battery changes. (I'm on to something here) Sponsored by Canola oil and Energizer. Smells like hot pennies and hash browns. But nobody would ever support that because of the potential for boring, snails-paced wrecks.


ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A STATE AGENCY?
I received 2 letters from the Washington State Employment Security office (MOTTO: "Where your unemployment is our job!").

Letter 1 said they had to investigate a possible fraud in where I was sent an unemployment check for a week that my employer said I was working. I started the week AFTER the noted week, so we'll get that figured out.

Letter 2 was a check for a week in January that they did NOT pay me, because they screwed up and hit the wrong "bye" week after my period of unemployment began.

So they think they shouldn't have paid me for a week at the end, which is correct.
But they paid me for a week at the beginning, which was their mistake.

The FBI once spent $29million, 8,000 people, and 6 years to halt a Brinks banking theft scam that netted $2.7million. Totally... worth it.

BOTTLE IT UP
You aren't busting out a new bottle of water every time you want some, right?
Filter-pitchers.
Re-use.
Reduce.
Recycle.

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Makes total sense. If anybody needs me, I'll be under my desk AGAIN today.




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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Microsoftspot

I love how, when using Microsoft Outlook, one of the meeting invites I had open wouldn't find a name, so it hung up.

When I closed the window via Task Manager, it closed the whole inbox, and all the other stuff i was working on in Outlook.

So next time your right-rear tire's a little flat, drive your car directly into a wall.
Brilliant.

Yes, I demand that my technology not F up on the simplest of tasks.

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Financially Advised #1

In the past year my wife and I have made huge strides in our financial health. It has been through hard work, grumbling, and hours of sitting down and making a budget that we could live by. By "Budget," I truly mean a Plan that is down to the last dollar being accounted for.

Savings. Groceries. Gas. Oil Changes. Property taxes. Personal Spending money. Everything. Every month.

She's done the hard part, by marrying me. From there, we took a class last year called "Financial Peace University" from Dave Ramsey's family of teaching. It changed our outlook on life, and therefore, it changed our lives for the better. I owe a gigantic blank check from the bank of my love to my wife for this. It works.

So I wanted to share some of this with you, what we learned, in case you've got some money issues. This ain't for everyone, but here's the first lesson we learned.

1) DEBT = DEATH. Stop pulling it in on yourself. Here's how.
A) Pay your monthly minimums on credit cards and debts until you have $1,000 in your Savings account. This is your Security Fund. Freeze your cards in a glass of water in the freezer and stop using them. They are holding you back and down like an anchor, giving you excuses to not do what you want to do in life. Stop. Now. It's like a drug, I know, I've been there. You'll have plenty of money once you...

B) Create a budget. You have to. How much do you spend a month on groceries? Do you know? Find out. Track it. Account for it. Gas money? Car insurance? Housing? Heating? Electricity? Phone? Internet? Do you really know? Only when you know, can you do something about it, much like a baby-daddy. How much are you bringing in? How much are you putting out? Get a spreadsheet worked up that shows where every dollar goes for the next 2 months. I'll send one to you if you need it, but you deserve the benefit of the effort you put in. You'll reap the rewards of a budget. I've never had more peace than when we did this. And every week we have money to spend on whatever else we want. Not a giant grip, but a good amount to spend on clothing, music, waxing, clown supplies, etc. And no need for credit cards.

C) Change your thinking: Building Wealth is Good; Buying Stuff I Don't Need Is Bad. If you NEEEEED to buy something every week, and you're still in debt, you're an addict and it's time to get some help. Britney, Paris, Kardashians, etc. shop all the time because they are EMPTY inside. Does that describe you? what are you filling your emptiness with? I fill mine with Comedy. And dark chocolate. But no longer do I drop $500 at IKEA because "it's time I get some new furniture to throw out in a year." The Joneses you're trying to keep up with either make waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more money than you, or financed the rims on another car they won't ever pay off in the garage of a home with 4 flat TVs they can't watch all at once. They are drowning in debt. You're sailing home to Wealth.

Think of how much you pay in your debts each month.
Think of that adding up in your checking account or savings account.
Now think of the vacation you could be on, RIGHT NOW, totally funded, if you didn't have that debt. What did you buy with that debt? Do you still Love it?

Is it time to change? Start today!
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