Last year I did a prediction blog, linked up to your visual cortex RIGHT HERE. My comedy prediction is sadly coming true.
I should do this for a living.
"This" = leering at your mom in her aerobicize unitard. What's up Mrs. Cundiff? Need help with those groceries?
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Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Geoff Lott: Comedian, Writer, Philosoteur. I am here to amuse you, not entertain you. If not now, later. If not you, somebody else. If you can't laugh at yourself, that's just fine, too. I will do it for you.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Name Your Kid For Criminal Success
Naming a child is giving them the identity they will carry through their life. I'll keep this short.
If you want your child to grow up to be a criminal, like a "killed by the authorities" criminal, give him a middle name of Ray. Another one was taken down last night in California. He was 76, and this was the first ever execution by "BOO!"
If you're looking more at your garden-variety assault and burglary, just go for the initials. JT. TJ. RJ. JD. BO. It's cute when he's getting his pictures at Sears, but it's sad when he's there changing tires.
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Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
If you want your child to grow up to be a criminal, like a "killed by the authorities" criminal, give him a middle name of Ray. Another one was taken down last night in California. He was 76, and this was the first ever execution by "BOO!"
If you're looking more at your garden-variety assault and burglary, just go for the initials. JT. TJ. RJ. JD. BO. It's cute when he's getting his pictures at Sears, but it's sad when he's there changing tires.
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Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Monday, January 16, 2006
You Can't Sue Mother Nature
27,000 new homes built into area hillsides, once covered with trees.
270,000 trees removed from those hillsides.
27 days of rain.
2,700,000 pounds of mud sliding down those now-rootless hillsides, into backyards, living rooms, reflecting ponds, zen-gardens, and garages.
2 turds given by nature when the mud covers the new Acura and dislodges a baker's-dozen of townhomes.
1 very upset cougar in the living room wondering where it's home went. (Cougars have traditionally low credit ratings)
Zero sympathy to muster. But hey, I have a leak in the living room, and I have to deal with the Property managers now, so I am NOT HAPPY.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
270,000 trees removed from those hillsides.
27 days of rain.
2,700,000 pounds of mud sliding down those now-rootless hillsides, into backyards, living rooms, reflecting ponds, zen-gardens, and garages.
2 turds given by nature when the mud covers the new Acura and dislodges a baker's-dozen of townhomes.
1 very upset cougar in the living room wondering where it's home went. (Cougars have traditionally low credit ratings)
Zero sympathy to muster. But hey, I have a leak in the living room, and I have to deal with the Property managers now, so I am NOT HAPPY.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
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