The Geoff Lott Rules Live Tour Of Comedy & Talking

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Thursday, March 22, 2007

Never Leave Your Pod Again

Relationships.
Music.
Food.
TV shows.
Movies.
Entertainment.
Work.
Finances.
Drugs.
Conversations.
Re-runs.
Family photos.
S.
E.
X.

Thank you technology. We will never have to go out into the globally warmed global outside again.

I'm 99% positive this is how the gray-skinned, big-eyed, long-fingered, telepathy-using, small-bodied, probe-famous "aliens" evolved. I think they were here a billion years ago and come back to see if we're done yet. Hence the butt-thermometers.

Time to go order pizza with cinnamon brownie salad.
I'm also 90% sure that Domino's is selling us food that falls off the back of trucks.

If I'm not here in a week... I was right.

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My Blog About My Dad

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The High Heels

I hope I never again hear a women wearing tiny, pointy shoes complain about how their feet are killing them after a long night of dancing and drinking free drinks.

Mostly because I saw THIS picture.
It's the result of "Foot binding," an old practice in China that is making a comeback! It was published this week via YAHOO! Photos via the AFP, and nearly made me lurch-forth the smoothie I made for breakfast.

It was a cruel practice done to ensure women, usually those kept as concubines, would have dainty, feminine feet. How big are a normal woman's feet in China?

Anyway, a little perspective for the ladies in the Manolo's.




She's point at her TOES, bent under her foot after the bones were broken and wrappd to this shape. Note the red shoe there.


Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad

Like You've Never Had A Craving?

There's a certain energy to a day at the Empire when you can tell something big is going on. A beta release of a video game, maybe somebody kissed a girl they didn't pay, BIG stuff. Today is one of those days.

In the cafeteria they are showing the broadcast of the World Cup of Cricket, as many of the people working at the Empire are from parts of the world that understand Cricket. They must be way smarter than us, or just don't over-complicate things. The match is being projected onto a screen slightly larger than the bedroom I grew up in. It's a pretty intense game. I started picking up on it slightly before a riot broke out after one of the bowlers complained about a wicket call, and the overs were starting to dwindle. I digress.

So I'm watching the World Cricket Cup unfold between Bangladesh and another team, and I hear a rumbling behind me. A talk-rumbling. A full-blown "hub-bub," bub. I wonder if perhaps there's a new Halo-3 poster being hung near the free soda closets. Or maybe somebody said "I prefer a Mac." I had to inspect.

I drew closer to see a line, easily 50 dorks deep, each of them twitching and giggling and jovial in the way only Mt. Dew and a lack of sunlight can do to a malnourished body. What is this line? Is this like the pie line in "Revenge Of The Nerds," or as it's referred to at the Empire, "Holy Story Of Best Life Ever Told On Screen And Too Short But Still Awesome With Boobs and the Down There Of A Woman"? Oh no. The draw?

Taco Salad bar.

Your choice. Tostada bowl. You fill it with ground beef (seasoned!), chicken, or vegetarian option. By the time I saw what the rush was on for, the line had swollen like a geek in sweatpants on High School P.E. Push-up test day. Amazing. They were Texting each other on phones, talking into their watches, and using telepathy. Freaky stuff. For Taco Salad bar day.

There's no real social relevance other than it's funny to watch people who act like they've never had diarrhea.

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad