Lose FAAT with HIIT! $7 Program!

I rarely push any product. I don't believe in many of them to the point that I would tout them as "totally worth the effort to work for the money to afford them."

Turbulence Training is different. It is a game-changer. It is about using your body as your gym, shortening your workouts, increasing your intensity, and giving you a mindset of training for fitness, not vanity. (Vanity is a fantastic side-effect, of course.

And for a very short time, Craig Ballantyne (Men's Health, Turbulence Training mastermind, Interval Training Guru, 8-pack Ab owner) is selling 3 of his best programs for only $7.

$7. You drank more than that watching the game.
$7. You ate more hot wings than that at lunch twice last week.
$7. That's it. Nothing more to buy.
2 programs, + 1 freebie. $7. Normally $90. No. $7. That's way cheaper.
But all the same workouts

When compared to driving to the gym ($3 gas) and getting a
Charbucks on the way ($4.50), this "at home fat burning method"
is already cheaper (and more effective) after just one day.

=> Save money and burn fat at home (here's how) Turbulence Training; BodyWeight Cardio

But hurry, Craig is only promising the solution
for just a few more hours.

PS - What the heck is this new type of cardio...

...that Geoff is goin' nuts over?

You're about to discover a way to burn fat and improve your
health without fancy, expensive equipment.  FAST.

=> Save money and burn fat at home (Trade $7 for Fitness Here)

==--==--==-==
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

Prob'ly my last Blogger blog

So I'm moving my coordinates in the Blogosphere over to this address:

HTTP://CRITICALDAD.WORDPRESS.COM

It's been 8 years of hammering through some death-inviting blogs here at Blogger.

But I need/want to monetize this writing like it was 2006, and Blogger's got one of those built-in technical blocks that keeps me from doing just that. They aren't targeting me, it's just a coding issue that keeps me from being allowed and able to get ads up on my blog here. Thus, I'm moving over to Critical Dad.

Before I go, here's why I love and hate writing.

I love creating. I embrace my creativity as a part of my Being, because it makes me feel Alive, and because for a long time, it was a negative. That is, growing up, my creativity was best used as a way of getting my entire body removed from Jr. High classes. I was a smart ass, a loudmouth, a knucklehead trying to get a laugh or tell a teacher I thought they were shit-full without using those words. So eventually, getting to a place where I could express my feelings and opinions - like anybody gives a crap - freed me to get it off my chest and out of my pool of white noise. It opened my mind up. I felt better.

I hate that I don't do it enough. I should, I have so much that bothers the hell out of me, but I let it go almost so quickly that it barely registers. And thus I should look less at the breaking moments and more at my own Principles, and how those are broken by people. I'm no Stoic, mind you, nor a self-righteous windbag. But I don't take my old furniture out to the dumpster nor toss my kid's unused toys in the recycling. I don't carry a small dog into grocery stores because I need attention. I can be a jerk, but not without reason. And the fact that I don't get jerky often enough here is to my detriment. Instead, I've been yelling at shitty neighbors more often than I should, and blasting an airhorn when walking past people texting behind the wheel.

So, it's been a riot, and I've been in dumb blogfights with people, so please read at your leisure. I'll compile a Top 10 Faves in a bit. For now, I have to go work out some issues.

Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

Football Seasoning

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

Workin' It - Perspectives

It’s been over 5 years since I had a permanent, full-time, benefits+retirement+paid vacation job. 5 years. 1,500 days. I had one for a short time in 2008, but also had a few chances to make something bigger happen in my life, and thus happened the California misAdventures. Still, I wouldn’t trade those 14 months for anything in the world. However, I think a lot of folks may be taking what’s happened in the world, and how it missed them, for granted. And I’m hungry for it.

I want to take better care of my family. I work my ass off and want to be able to spend a full week at Christmas with my family and not fret over missing a week of pay. I want to give a company 50 hours a week, and a few on the weekend, and in return, bank a couple hundy for my retirement as a “thanks for last Saturday.” I’ll earn it.

As a contractor, I’ve busted my ass in large companies around the Puget Sound in order to keep working, maybe be brought on full-time, as well as gain experience. Not all companies work like that anymore. I haven’t had paid vacations, bonuses, nor the ability to really dump $ into my retirement accounts. This is what I’ve sacrificed in the face of “do not change. Change nothing. Don’t shake it up. Sit tight.” Financially it hasn’t been the best move. Sitting on the side of the “have not as much’es” (but still doing well), I miss out on money if I take days off work to go on a trip with the family. This is part of being a contract employee. My efforts go towards realizing the goals of the organizations I work in. I receive money for that. That’s all. It’s fact, not jealousy. And a lot of people I see who haven’t changed a thing in their careers have missed the point: If you’re not growing, you’re wilting.

In the meantime, I have scooped up experiences most folks have missed out on completely while their salary adjusted 3% up, and they complained. And they received a company-wide performance bonus, and complained it wasn’t as large as last year’s. I pay out of pocket for health benefits, and it doesn’t cover everything, which still matters around tax time. Full timers had to pay another $5 on the co-pay, and complained about getting screwed. Stress is a killer, ma’am. Take it easy. What a hard life you’re pushing through so valiantly. I know this is true, because I’ve heard it all. I’ve heard the complaints, the whining, the “can you believe what they’re doing to us?” whispered at the machine pumping out free lattes.

Don’t take these things for granted. These are perks, not rights. We’re not entitled to any of it. It’s a bonus, a hug, a little extra tongue on the second date. Have you really earned it? Did you create the iPad? Did you find the secret to no-burn cookies? Have you found a way to introduce demographically-targeted birth control so that the affluent neighborhoods are producing more children? No... You haven’t. Remember that the next time you are watching “Rio” from your back as your teeth go 2 shades whiter.

Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

Battle Of The Blands

Revelation last week. While watching a comedian I really like and respect perform a very similar bit to one of mine, my lap felt cold. My joke-boner fell. Frankly, it's true that I have re-hashed too much work within my comedy. It's been too long since I introduced anything truly new, a chunk or a bit or a longer-form run of humor. It's important that I write what I think is funny, but lately all that comes out are lamentations.

About the state of this country (catatonic stupor/corn syrup insulin-crashing).

About religion and those who adhere to it as a lifestyle instead of a guiding light. Loving The Lord is a different expression than Paranoia.

About childless couples throwing shit-looks when my gorgeous and well-behaved son and wife and I sit down near them in a restaurant. Leave, fucko. Eat at the bar.

I'm a happy man and a fed-up American and a bored comedian. That has to amount to something. I'm not boo-hooing the passion I have found in Stand-up Comedy. My reverence for Sahl, Martin, Pryor, Cosby, Hicks, et al fuels much of my desire to accept gigs. My ego thinks I have something to say. So I'm probably just putting too much pressure on myself to make something count for eeeeeverybody sitting in the room at a comedy show. Instead, I need to go back to the drawing board, and draw the shapes of letters that become words and from there, jokes.

I need to do what I think is Funny, that's the trick. Like any work, it's important to do what YOU think is Good Work. Otherwise you're wasting your time and the time of the person paying you to check Facebook just reeeeeal quick. Comedy is a privilege and a passion to be part of. I'm lucky. Sadly, I've also been lazy. Time to turn that around and put it on its knees and tell it to say my name.

Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

The Possibility Of Assholery

Assholery is not an actual word per the uptight, ungroomed editors of Wikipedia and Websters. But I use the word to describe the general activity of people who are unaware, negligent, narcissistic (on the first try!), and on the whole, unpleasant. An unpleasant hole. Full of crap, hot air, ungroomed, bad oils. Asshole. And it takes one to know one.

I know this because I can be the biggest asshole in the room at any given time. I don't like to be. Being an asshole is a pro-active thing, not reactive, unless the reaction is over-the-top and uncalled for. But being an asshole carries two interesting traits: No "asshole throttle," and total asshole apathy. Simply not caring how big of an asshole you are being.

I don't try to be an a-hole nearly enough. I think there's a point when my cage needs to be rattled by a demonstration of assholery, and likewise to those around. There's no greater salve for complacency than an asshole's outburst. To mope, slope, and slog around as if there are no consequences for one's inactivity or apathetic life is a social welfare check; "It's fine to be bad at what you do, not pay attention, and speak like a juvenile idiot." No.
No it's not.

If somebody's side-holing your day, let 'em know. I work with a guy who works so mercilessly slow and methodically that it slows everybody else down. When I finally told him that I couldn't attend his meetings because we were 2 days behind due to his pace, he reacted as if I'd spent the morning reclined in his bed while his wife's perm bobbed on my knob. Fine, he thinks I'm an asshole. The days that followed saw him dash his repetitive meetings and free up a lot of people's time. In turn, WE GOT SHIT DONE. It was simple honesty and being forthright. America has lost much of its "BS Barometer" due to the creep of Political Correctness, causing us to never want to offend somebody.

Say whatever you gotta say, knowing that you may look like an asshole on somebody's sliding scale of Assholery. But don't hold back if it's the right thing to do. You can only be shat on for so long before being shat on is your fault. I think that's in the Old Testament. The worst somebody can legally do is fire-back a big "F You!" If you can take that hit, you're on your way to a special place in the Assholes of All Time.


Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

You Probably Think This Blog Is About You

Get over it already. Cheez-its GRAPES, be an adult, would you?

The only thing I can suggest is to take a really honest look at yourself (you can't) and go get some counseling with a real counselor (you won't). Tell that counselor what you think is wrong with everybody around you. And if that counselor is bilking you they'll tell you exactly what you want to hear and you'll come back. Or if that counselor is worth a damn they will listen to your tales of woe and martyrdom and ask you to do two things...

1) Fill in the holes where you should have told them what YOU did to other folks;

and

2) Find the common thread to the downturn of all those damaged relationships.

The only constant in every relationship of yours is YOU.

Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT