Until The Message Gets Through

Everybody, men and Women, especially not men, needs to read this article from MSN.
I did NOT write this, I am NOT taking credit for it. Dr. Brenda Shoshanna wrote it. Read and heed.

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FIVE QUESTIONS EVERY MAN DREADS

When it comes to relationships, most women want to know everything that a man is thinking. His secrets are often considered little enemies, capable of tearing the relationship apart. But nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, it's absolutely necessary for each partner to have his or her own personal world -- thoughts, feelings and boundaries that belong to him or her and no one else. So what's a well-intentioned woman to do? Read on to find out which topics are better left untouched -- and why. If the following five questions never leave your lips, it just might be music to your man's ears. Take a look:

1) Are you attracted to other women?

Don't pry into this. Some women keep asking their man whether or not he is attracted to other women. A man who doesn't look at anyone or feel anything for other women is either very old, very tired or just plain lying. There is nothing wrong with a man who looks at and admires other women, as long as he does it discretely, doesn't make a show of it in front of other people and doesn't use it to make you insecure or competitive with the other women. Looking at and responding to others doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't find you desirable or is comparing you. Most men fuel their sexuality and fantasies by admiring women. If you ask him to talk about it, not only will it make you nervous, but he might feel embarrassed and exposed as well. He will feel unable to do what he does naturally, without being censured. Enjoy his love for you and leave this one alone.

2) What happened in your past relationships?

Some women become obsessed with finding out everything about their man's past. They need to know if they measure up to ex-girlfriends or wives, if he's as happy with them as he was before and if he's really over a past heartbreak. There's no need to probe any of these issues.
You might be especially concerned about what went wrong with your guy's previous relationships. Remember, though, he might have been a very different man then, and he probably learned from his mistakes. Try not to hold his past wrongs against him because chances are he doesn't want to be reminded of them. He doesn't want you to see him in a bad light. Let him be the person he is now. Let him feel good about how he is with you, and not dragged through memories of what he did (or didn't do) with other partners. When you let the past be the past, that is where it will stay.

3) Where (or how) do you think our relationship is going?

Many women just can't wait to get around to the "relationship discussion." They want to know how their guy is feeling about the relationship in general, so they sit him down to get the details. The problem is that this discussion makes many men feel pressured -- and restless. This question is pretty vague, and a guy may not understand what you're actually asking him. For example, is this the precursor to discussing marriage, or do you simply want to know whether he's content with the relationship between you?
Of course a man will have opinions of where the relationship is going, just like women do. The problem is that after being prompted to address a heavily weighted issue like this, some men fear that, depending on how they answer this question, they might be in for an intense, uncomfortable discussion. They could feel judged and criticized, and if this happens too often, it can easily make them drift away. Instead of pinning all of your expectations on a forced discussion, try to keep communication open in the relationship -- all the time. That way, you can both express your feelings as they arise, and have them heard and attended to naturally.

4) What are you thinking? (Usually asked in bed...)

Some women want to make sure that a man is thinking only of them in bed, but this is a very complicated question for a guy. Although he loves you -- and may be very happy with you -- it is normal for your guy to occasionally fantasize about others during sex. And it's not because he isn't there with you. This only means that he's making the experience exciting for himself in many ways.
Don't probe his secret fantasies unless he wishes to discuss them with you. If he doesn't bring it up, chances are that asking him about it will make him feel criticized, guilty and perhaps restricted. On the other hand, if he does wish to share his fantasies, this can be tricky too. Make sure you can tolerate hearing about what's going on in your man's mind, and remember not to assume he doesn't care about you. It's perfectly acceptable to decide you don't want to hear about these fantasies. Just let him know about your wishes gently, if and when he tries to fill you in.

5) Do you enjoy being with your friends more than being with me?

Many women become possessive of their man's attention and resentful of time spent away from them. This is particularly true for nights out with the guys. Women want to be included in every activity as proof of their partner's love for them. And if a guy is out with his buddies, they ask if he enjoyed the time more -- or less -- than time spent at home because they secretly want to hear that he did not. Some women even feel threatened when a man is with his family.
The fact is, your man needs time for male bonding, no matter how much he cares for you. Truly loving him means allowing him to be all of who he is, fulfilling all his needs and realizing that no matter how much he loves you, he also needs others in his life. The more fulfilled he is, the more he can give to you. So let the time he has with buddies belong to him. Don't question him about details. The beautiful part of having a healthy relationship is that you are both secure enough in your feelings that you want to see each other happy, no matter who you're with or what you're doing.


Take Me Home

Tightly Wound

This is totally a F**k It Friday. There is no reason for me to be here. Nobody under the age of 32, except myself, is here today. Ya know why? Because I'm supposed to be, I'm f*cking responsible. The shit I've been given to work with has begun to stink to high holy Heaven, and they want me to spray the Glade until it dies down.
Hey folks, come on in! It smells like someone crapped a raspberry bush!

And ya know what? I should not be here. I should be on a boat with a drink, tunes cranked, my hot girlfriend lounging atop, and getting a weird tan-line on my chest as I lay back with a middle finger being displayed to the world.

So anyway, yeah, that's Friday. Thanks for reading, like you even did.
What, you want some?

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Like, It Matters

Comedy is whatever it is. It's entertainment, basement level. Parroting the foibles of humans and animals and now technology in all of its break-neck boobs & such broadcasting. That's what we do with it… question mark. Comedy, a way to connect to people through pain or surprise, using humor. Laughter is the best medicine, for some people. Comedian Robert Schimmel had cancer a few years ago, locked his death-hurtling personage into a room with Larry, Moe, Curly, Frasier, and a number of other comedic talents, and emerged victorious. His mind was off It. His soul was free. His body healed.

Which is why I want so much to do comedy the justice it de-frigging-serves. There's so much I see people doing on stage that is actually just recycled technique and watercolored-over verbiage. Sooner or later we all go there, but you must, must come through the standards, and set your own bar high. It takes time and practice, learning and losing, and most of all it will take you an arena-full of courage, if not ego and machismo. But I have a desire to make people laugh so hard they expunge physical, emotional, and mental pain. And the only way to do that is to find the darkest parts of life, drag them into the light, and watch them writhe in the heat of happiness.

Take my dick jokes, please.


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