Picture This

Dude, your dog's leaking tranny fluid on the new throw.

As a man, this explains why he was so good at thinking for others.

Nature Vs. Nurture

Interesting topic, I'd say. First of all, this debate goes on forever about whether or not a person's environment will overcome a genetic predisposition for addiction and/or gout. Some say "Save the environment" while some go Big Oil and drill until the black and icky oozes through.

Odd topic to think of this morning, but valid. I think if you see enough examples of love and appreciation and happiness and the right way to handle a drunk grandma, you'll know that you take her keys and get her a ride home. You do NOT steal her wallet and slap her on the Depends.

Some people have an innate sense of right. Some people have an innate sense of right and wrong. Some people only like dick & fart jokes, and that's wrong. But what is Right when everything is going wrong? A few years ago at the 30th Anniversary of Woodstock there was a massive riot over the cost of water and refreshments. Some "Hippies neuveaux" cried "HARSH, dudes!" over the melee, citing that Woodstock was NOT about destruction and chaos. But then again, this was the first time Woodstock had both Limp Bizkit and the Red Hot Chili Peppers on the bill. And it's the first time that concessionaire's were ripping kids off with $5 bottles of water in 100+ degree heat, and charging more for less. Kickin' much business ass ensued (they're insured, by the way, explaining why they got the Hot out of Dog in a flash). Survival of the thirstiest. Don't they see Mtn. Dew commercials? Extreme, dudes.

So now think of it this way. We're all born perfect and innocent, and then life, doctors, school, media, society, and most importantly, PARENTS, f*ck that up for us before we know where to find the guns and dark bibles. Our brains get wired with the messages we'll carry the rest of our lives as we paddle about in kiddie pools and high chairs, car pools and booster chairs, looking to the Adult's Table for validation over a little bit of white meat and the neighbor's brave yet baffling stuffing. (Who the f*ck puts cherries in STUFFING?)

And as the adults ignore our pleas to be excused because the neighbor's 2nd grader just shat himself for the third time today (more than once and it's just for attention, lucky bastard) we sit there and wonder if this is all we're worth. Dry meat, fruited bread lumps, and the lumpy Toughskins of an attention starved Muppet fanatic: This is my childhood?

Now we want to get away from a rough situation there, but maybe mom won't let us, says it's rude, impolite, etc. So we sit there and squirm in the rank of Lumpskins and Toughstuff, and then get in trouble for squirming. Next thing you know you are 25 years old and can't figure out why you can only date women who don't want you to get too close to them. Your nature is to be attracted to them, but you're nurtured to think you're not good enough for it.

Make any sense? If so, thanks for reading. If not, call your parents and figure out why.

Fed Up,
G
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Take Me Home

It's Like Christmas Where Santa Takes It All and Thumbs You In The Manger

Back from Las Vegas, or as many people call it, "FAWKIN' 20???" What a trip! I cruised down there by plane with M and her family, as M's aunt was getting married. I highly recommend a Vegas wedding if you'd rather have a good time that day instead of planning things way in advance and spending a ton of money. A 7 minute ceremony was followed by a 12-hour jaunt through Vegas. Got back to our room at 10 am... here's the haps.

First of all the booking for the trip was haywire. I was invited a couple weeks ago, and I felt pretty good about that because this was a very Family-Oriented thing as I was told, even though nobody in the family is Oriental. Hmm...
Almost every hotel in Vegas was sold out according to most websites. We got trapped with some lat booking issues, leaving us only a few options for lodging. We ended up in a hole which should have only schidt put in it. Ultimately we are all in control of our own destiny so anything we encounter may be of our own doing. However, the place we stayed in was see-ock. Gross. Freakin' HORRENDOUS. Imagine the WORST motel room you can think of... Got it?
Now, remove the dead hooker from under the bed.
Take the hypodermic needle out of the pillow.
No, no, that horrendous ass/Febreeze smell stays.
Same with the bedspread, that's the flag of welfare lodging, that stays put.
Yeah, so it was a "2 star" hotel? It was a "2 star" hotel. I wanted to move, we all did, but instead we stayed out all night both nights, walked and drank and gambled. Here's a lesson for you Vegas go-ers...

BOOK EARLY AND STAY ON THE STRIP.

It may cost a little more, but you will save in cab rides and be able to sleep at night without waking up screaming 'TAKE THE MONEY! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP HITTING ME WITH A CHEESE GRATER!' You will have a nice pool and enough towels to outfit a hindu swim team. (That was a good one) You'll have a restaurant and gaming tables and you won't be taking pictures of yourself flipping the bird to the building, nor pointing disgustedly at the mold... THE MOLD... around the tub.

Oh, and eat at Le Café in the Paris.
One more thing. It's 81 in Seattle today. It was 103 in Vegas.
No com-friggin'-plaining, ya whiny schidts.

More later.
Viva Lost Wages.

Take Me Home