I give you... TENACIOUS D!
"Fuck Her Gently"
This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely...
You don't always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And fuckin' give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna Fuck you
softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you
sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly
And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth Could you get it out for me?
That's fuckin teamwork!
Whats your favorite poz-ish?
That's cool with me It's not my favorite But I'll do it for you
Whats your favorite dish?
I'm not gonna cook it But ill order it from Zanzibar
And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll fuckin fuck you discreetly
And then I'll fucking bone you completely
But then I'm gonna fuck you hard
Hard
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(for those of you who are into team sports)
"Double Team"
[spoken] Damn, a hard day's rockin'.
Better slip off ma shoes.
Maybe give a little stretch, and a bend.
Dip m'toe inna jacuzzi, behbeh.
Slip out this book: The Buttress of Windsor.
Ho ho ho, who's this? How's it goin'?
[sung]
That's the first thin' I say to you. How's it goin'? Are you flowin'?
Listen honey, Thinkin' 'bout a couple things to say to you,
Showin', growin'.
Man I'd like to place my hand upon your fuckin' sexy ass and squeeze.
And squeeze!
Take off your blouse, And yo' UNNAH PAY-ANTS,
Then take a look,
'Cause here me and KG come naked, Out of the side-hatch,
With the oils and perfume and incense.
Now you're groovin', Put on a cool '70s groove.
A funky groove to fuck to. A funky groove to fuck to.
Me, me and KG, It's all about sex supreme,
We likes to cream jeans. (sex)
Have you ever been worked on
By two guys who are hot for your snatch? (sex)
That's what I'm offerin' you.
You step into our room, And then you smell the perfume,
You lay upon our roundish bed,
And then you feel a tickling on your head. It's KG with the feather
and the French tickler, Look out baby he got the tools.
And then you feel sumpin' down by your feet.
It's me, it's JB, I'm suckin' upon your toes.
We don't mind sucking on toes!
Good luck finding a boyfriend who sucks toe, ow!
Havin' sex with me and KG,
Now you're talkin' double team supreme.
Let's roll! Oh! Ahh, oh!
What! Yeah!
Huh! Nah!
Oh! Ah, that's it, that's right, ohmygah,
oh-I-think-I'm-gonna,
Ohh!
Deht!
Deht!
Eeee!
Splooge!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
And if anyone was offended by the subject matter or words used in this blog, I'm sorry.
Sorry you're such a BORING sack-monkey.
Maybe you need to cut that talk and drop the wok, get into a little hot-n-heavy stir fry of your own, quit judging everyone else for seeing the majestic peaks that are Rage-Kage and the JaBles. Go get your knobs polished.
May you have more screws than a Home Depot. Get drilled.
"Bloggingly-Relevant Sign Off" You stray butthair!
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Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
