Because It Matters To Some

Wow, we finally got past Easter! I always go so crazy with the shopping and the parties. Lots of my friends are way into Easter, the whole dressing up and traditional feast and what-not. You probably have no idea what a pain it is to coordinate a re-creation of The Last Supper, costumes and all, but the majesty is something else. Some of the people to Dan "Jesus '05" Crandall's left got snarky when I missed a line. Say what you will, Geoff The Baptist asks for little, but if I want unleavened bread, Stacey "Iscariot," I will fuggin' ask for it. Biznatchalacka!

Saturday night was a fun evening out. Killorn O'Neill, Tony "Man Handy" Moser, Queen Alicia, and The Geoff Lott Experiment all tripped Cap Hill-ward to catch Tony opening for Doug Stanhope. It was a disjointed affair, but overall, an entertaining evening. We arrived 45 minutes prior to the doors opening. The normal conversations started up, namely, the problem with the Homeless in Seattle. Not the Homeless Problem (i.e. we can see them), but the reasons that people become and remain homeless. Is it lethargy? Apathy? Scurvy? Perhaps they aren't taking advantage of the many programs designed to help people without homes rectify their situations. The flip side is that if every homeless person DID, there wouldn't be enough room, nor caseworkers, since the business of helping people who need it pays turds, unless you're a doctor. And no, insurance companies don't help people.

So the crowd files in and one dickwad is wearing sunglasses. Saturday night it was raining that sideways, sidewalk-clearing, eye-poking rain. But he's "in costume" to party. At the bar he ordered a "really tall, uh.... dude... Red Bull-Vodka." The bartender held up a small rocks glass and said "this is as tall as we go here." Shades McBallhair says "Yeah, I'll take three." Perhaps you're seeing the kind of crowd that was on-hand. Yes, there was at least one guy with a bandanna, West Coast Choppers jacket, and goatee yelling "Git 'er Done!", which continues to cement it's place in the entertainment world as the new "FREEBIRD!" I think if anybody yells it, as a comic, you HAVE to do 3 street jokes everyone's heard as punishment.

After the show I talked with Doug for a second. I MC'ed a show for him two years back at the Underground, and he was very cool to me. That was the consensus opinion, how laid back and cool Doug was the other night. Two years ago I watched a drunken Doug nail down 75 minutes of hysterical comedy at that show. The other night he wasn't drinking much, turning away shots and espousing the fact that he needs to give his body a rest after 20 years of debauchery. He did a pretty masterful job of wrangling the crowd, which had gotten sauced and rowdy. As he told one beer-farting frat hump in the first row "You have to be a special kind of douchebag to be that f*cked up at 8:20 on a Saturday night." I spend a lot of time watching comics for different reasons. I'm still learning a few things. I learned a lot about how just remaining calm and calling the situation for what it is will eventually sink in with people. I don't think many of the people knew that Doug had been a comic long before The Man Show or the Wild Girls thingy started. 80% of the crowd was there to see what was gonna go down, the others just kept looking around for an appearance by Joe Rogan or a tit, but I repeat myself. I wonder if people pull that shit at Henry Rollins' spoken-word shows. Once they went with Doug, it was easy as pie.

Except for that one really dumb, attention-needing whore-ority sister who kept yelling "EEEEW" when the words "Rubber F*ck My Face" were said. It really astounded me. That many guys who own a volume of "Girls Gone Wild" and not ONE frigging Roofie? BULL'S SHIT! He's trying to close up, quiet her down.

In summation, Seattle clubs seem to be in limbo about promoting comedy as The Hippest Of Entertainment, and when you hear the words "Terry Schiavo," be caller 10 to win tickets to the Pope's funeral.

Open Mic tonight. I pray that I can get up early. Judge not, lest ye be funny and unscripted.

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