What... You Had to Click a Link? Troglodyte.

For the better part of the month I have been harangued by a number of bosses who seem to believe that having a bump in title has also boosted their abilities to communicate without words. So far I can tell when they are confused, ignorant, and over compensated for their work, so I guess their new skills are coming in handy.

There is a push to communicate faster, quicker, now NOW TOO LATE! in our society. Your movies, food, messages, e-mails, gossip, and insulin cannot be delivered fast enough, until it is automatically downloaded into your cerebral cortex and the chip in your spine releases the hormones that signal you just ate, watched yet another Ben Stiller movie, and found out who's been stealing your Us Weekly from the mailbox.

It's moving faster, sure, but it's running down-hill, too. Anything moving downhill reaches a speed at which the acceleration of gravity down the plane surpasses the ability to maintain control of the physical object. It usually takes force from a brake pad, a sail, a rubbery band, some good strong thighs, netting, a creek, rocks, or a bouncer to halt or slow the descent. But until that force kicks in, it's all flailing arms and whitening knuckles in hopes of surviving the crash without being all gross and lizard-looking.

Technology is on that slope, and slippery it is. You don't know you want the next iPlod, which will have songs your favorite artists haven't ever recorded, until you see and read and hear about the next iClod, which has the power to destroy the cellular structure of Ashlee Simpson's vocal chords. You see it and say "YES, that is what I want, and I will have it by next HOLY Lincoln Logs, is it really $675? I better eBay my 2 month-old iBlob ASAP so I can get this new fangled one." Faster. Now. Come on... you're waiting.

Working in the mobile communications industry, I see this all the time. It's one of the factors that leads to burnout in this industry: TECHNOLOGICAL CHURN. That phone you just got, the one with the camera, web access, downloaded ringtones, and for-shit reception? Yeah, it's out of date already. But you got it for like $3 and a decent rate plan, so why not, it's all you need right now, huh? Wait until you see the Nokeepa ON-X1!
It uses the electrical currents in your brain to dial people. You think of someone's name or face, your phone reads it and calls them immediately! It will help you solve so many problems, because even if you hate the person, it will send them death threats, and there's no end to what it can do with the amount of porn it accesses from the internet to send to people you're fantasizing about. A record is kept and sent to you at the end of the month, showing everyone you thought of, what you thought of, and how often they were contacted by your new phone you didn't know you needed until 2 minutes ago. It's already activated, you activated it by thinking of it. You are now running headlong into the future... a Future of Telepathic Communication, interplanetary waste storage, and loss of body hair and functional genitals. Welcome aboard.

Every point of communication filters out some of the original message. Throw in a language barrier, loud music, 2 drunken frat boys, and sprinkle it with some ego, you are missing a fair amount of the message. Few people truly appreciate subtle and intelligent humor anymore, because they are conveyed with a look or a pun or nod. TV is dumbing people down instead of pushing the envelope of mental evolution. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to e-mail a video of Ashlee Simpson getting gang-Cleveland Steamered by the roadies for Slayer.

But you already knew that, because you sent it to me last night.
===================
Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad