What You Are Laughing At

Almost Tuesday
How does a day like today seem to stretch on forever, when other days skip by with nary a blink? I suppose it's for Perspective. That's a word I can't get away from lately.
Perspective.
The Flip Side. The Yang to the Yin (or Yin to...). The laughter to the tears. The humming afterglow to the walk of shame.
I'm sitting at my desk waiting for a report to draw 6 records out of 455 for one, count it, ONE entry in Excel. The first attempt took 13 minutes. I wonder if I could have done it faster with my own eyes and fingers. I'm betting that I would be a slight favorite if the data was properly arranged.
But this is perspective. For the 10 times I find my keys right away, there are 2 times that I left them on a bus in a jacket now being worn by a homeless man's 1-legged dog, "Pogo."
For all the times I've had $2000 at my disposal, I've surely been hit with an overdraft fee 7 seconds before my paycheck was automatically deposited - F*** You, Bank of American't, you diseased goat of a financial institution. For the hundreds of times I didn't get the girl I thought I wanted, I get to see her true personality and be thankful I'm not changing locks or listening to her drunk-cry into a cell phone at 4 in the morning about her ex, her dad, and a mean girl in Jr. High who just never was nice to her. (we all hope the Jr. High girl's life turned to crap, agreed?)
(17 minutes and counting on the report data retrieval)
So in Life, I have a good perspective of how things are going. I want more to my life than I currently have, but I am doing really well in the meantime. I have great friends, a few loud enemies (fear the quiet ones, they're plotting against you), and a bright future in either writing, performing, or food service.
And I live in a country where I can pursue any life I choose, just as soon as this frigging database is done.

I Wanna See Y'All On Yo' Baddest Behavior
Geoffers

"Oh my pants are half-empty!" from Grumpy Cripples, by Blaine Reeder