What You Are Laughing At

I Couldn't Have Said It Better, But if I Tried To I'd Likely Be Boring You With Too Many Words Anway, So Let's Just Say That It's Better To Shorten Up What You're Saying and Get To The Point

People can talk a LOT about very little far too often. I'm not good with small talk. I can do it, but I'm perhaps a deeper thinker or not as up-to-speed on a topic as the other person who is introducing it. Maybe I'm just an a-hole. I don't think that's it, though. I like it when people get to the point and stop wasting my time blabbing about a topic with no direction. I can only hear so many stories about Dina at work. Most Dina's are of a questionable moral fiber anyway. Until the day we find out that Dina decided to go to Holland for the final surgery in her trans-gendering, let's save the Dina stories. What can you tell me about YOU?

If you're gonna talk to me, be honest, be direct, be funny, but have a point. Don’t ramble. When I'm 95 and lying on the floor of my mansion, bleeding from a back wound after being shot by a jealous 19 year-old lover, I'm gonna need back those 3 minutes you stole talking about your pants-loading kids to crawl to the phone and brag about my exploits to 911. The only thing in my life that should ever last longer than it needs to is the act of "Totally Doin' It." Other than that, don't waste my time.

And if I sound like an a-hole for mentioning this, the door is behind you. Bye. NEXT.

Speaking of "Next"...
No Need For Undershorts

I'm in the midst of an "All Employee TeleConference" with the Executives of this company. The title of this entry refers to the lack of testosterone-generators they have. After a year of lying and back-pedaling we are now going to be updated on "Regulatory Transition Tasks," "Milestones in the Merger Process." Those are terms that big-wigs use instead of saying "Selling Out," and "Next Week? Golf in Hawaii!" I swear this guy just said "I hope you're all watching and voting on American Idol." This company sponsors the text-messaging voting of American Idle, and that's about the biggest offer we have. (btw, the only woman I'd lay an angry hand on is Ryan Seacrest.)

Some new warty toad is talking about our network quality improvements. If anyone needs me I'll be lowering the life raft, as I can see "Integrity Island" from here, I'm rowing on. All I can hope is to get there before the rats do. And some guy on the call just called the CEO "Judas." That guy is my hero of the day.