The Pacific Northwest has a broad spectrum of weather, getting both arms around - and both cheeks into - every season. Icy, snowy Springs. Sunny, drizzly Winters. Summers that last only 7 weeks but have temps in the low 100s. And the WIND, oh yes... Mother Nature's Howl.
Recently, while Wife and Son and I were in Culver City there was a really hefty wind-storm. Not a storm just by Los Angeles standards that gusted up to 18mph and threw cigarette ashes all over the back seat of the TT. The kind where, if you were walking home from the bus stop, your legs were being blown into each other and almost tripping you, and you freaked out because normally you can handle that much NightTrain on a 20minute bus ride. Also, you realized that the lights all along the block, up to the Lee SuperLiquor! bodega, were out. HEAVY BLOWIN'. (that oughtta get some more hits to the page)
Power was out for about 3 hours that night. We ordered Italian food from Ugo. It was quality bites. I highly recommend Sun-dried tomatoes and smoked mozzarella on a sammitch. The next day I was driving to work and was on Venice Blvd. A tree had been blown over in the wind, and the branches and leaves and top-half of the trunk were passed out... excuse me... flopped down into the far-left lane. A traffic cone had been placed 50 feet ahead of it to let people know, "YO... we'll get to it!"
The city of Los Angeles has red light cameras all over the place, but not enough to drive revenue from the incredible number of red-light runners (2-per, from my count). A 1-hour rain will flood the streets. The buckling roadways are ground-down and patched-over. Perfectly good comedians are getting shunned for spots at the A-clubs, while horrid hosts with barely 9 minutes of masturmaterial get half-hours on Comedy Central because of their management team. BAD, bad, bad infrastructure.
So that tree, the broken & blocking one, lay there for 2 days before somebody in a city truck came to get it. Sunny weather, clear skies, dry roads. No city utility worker available to clear the roadway. For 2 days.
Last night up on Juanita Drive & 163rd, a tree blew down and knocked power out to Juanita-like areas. The crews were up there this morning getting it handled.
4 weeks ago I had to call the city office in LA about a health inspection. I got a call back TODAY. Thank you, Los Angeles. You proved your point.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Geoff Lott: Comedian, Writer, Philosoteur. I am here to amuse you, not entertain you. If not now, later. If not you, somebody else. If you can't laugh at yourself, that's just fine, too. I will do it for you.
Showing posts with label Fixing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fixing. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 03, 2008
My Issues With The Issues
This is how I think I feel about everything that's important.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Gay Marriage - Marriage between any two consenting adults deemed mentally competent should be legal. Marriage is a legally-recognized institution. Everyone should have equal pressure from their family and be made to feel like they are hideous freaks if not married by the age of 29. And they should not have open the backdoor of saying "Oh, we WOULD get married, but YOU won't let us!" I don't care what you do, when you do it, or how much it costs.
At the very least, incorporate. If you think the paperwork and inclusion in newspapers is what will solidify your relationship, have at 'er. Butch & Sundance were Partners. Lucy and Ricky were Spouses. Enyoy.
Apparently the Gay Community is unaware that, as tough as they've had it, they will NOT be discriminated against when getting their asses kicked by the Bride-to-Be who is ALSO trying to book the Atrium for the second Saturday in June. God be with you.
Legalizing Marijuana - Great idea. But you have to have a license to sell it, pay taxes on it, must be purchased from a licensed grower for re-sale, records kept of purchase and retail, and subject to the same scrutiny as all other vegitation that makes you happy. BUT... no retail outlets. Nope, the drug dealers already have this on lock-down, let 'em work. If it's shady, it's shady. Half the value in getting high is the feeling that you're gonna die during the transaction. And, like cigarettes, it cannot be smoked in public without heavy judgment/envy.
Prostitution - How is THIS illegal? Every other Westernized nation in the world has some sort of legalized hooking. Legalize, make the women... or men... register for a license. Prior to which, they must prove to be 18, have a GED, and (not "OR") submit to a drug test and blood test for STDs. Every 6 months, tested again. Run it outta yer single-wide like that day care that never got off the ground, lousy probation! Inspections by health inspectors! See, now you're generating JOBS AND REVENUE. Legalizing it won't drive people into hooking or looking any more than it already does. If a person wants to pay somebody to have sex with them, without hiding it as dinner and a few drinks, they should have the right to. And why subject women to the blathering of a crotch-hungry dude? Split the diff for $150, get under the bed like a good pig, and be on your way. SO UPTIGHT.
This also brings down the crime rates against women working in this line of work. They're doing it anyway. It's still a choice they have to make to go do it. Shouldn't be promoted as a viable one, mind you, but it sure as hell isn't stopping folks who need their urges fulfilled. It happens DAILY in various forms.
Seat Belt Laws - While these traffic stops do yield results in getting some thugs and felons on warrants, for the most part, it's a chicken-shit way for the cops to harrass unsafe people. It's a form of profiling, too. A GOOD ONE. You really want to make cars safe? NO SEATBELTS. Now who just slowed down 20MPH? Everybody, right. Now we're all driving around in loaded guns, makes you think before reaching for that text message, du'n't it?
Red Light Cameras - A camera? Chicken's PLOPS. You can't have ONE officer standing there pulling people off the road? MAKE IT NOW, IMMEDIATE, SPOT FOUL... you pay the fine or you get your car towed. OR, even better, do away with the camera, and put a gun turret in the camera box. Firing blanks, 99.8% of the time, but that sends a message at 240 rounds per second. To think it could have been avoided if only you hadn't hit that snooze alarm! Sorry for the .50 shell grazing your manifold.
Tax Increases On Douchenozzles, Asspleats, and Seatsniffers - Why are we taxing the wealthy when we should be taxing people who spend money poorly? $100, screen-printed t-shirt? 8.9% sales tax, and 4.1% Dunce Tax. Nice Ed Hardy tee, Yvgeny. Way to plan for retirement!
Axe Body Spray on the shopping list? How about upping the cost to about $100 a bottle? Sorry, now only for people who can afford it. And if you can afford Axe at that point, you aren't the kind of person who would wear it. I can't wear Axe BodySpritz, as I have a severe allergy to marketing. Axe, now in "Aggro Fingering" and " 'NO' Means 'Buy Her a Shot!' " scents.
Pooka Shell Necklaces should cost $500.
Male pinky rings? At 32? Just hitting the market at $2,000!
Perhaps it's a ploy of mine to drive the individuality out of people. More than likely, it's to see America with the best-dressed Foreclosed-Upon immigrants and turdwrinkles this side of ROSS.
Adopting Kids From "Developing Nations" - Adopting children from every continent, instead of, you know, getting a mug at the giftshop, is the ultimate in Celebrity Accessoriality. Mmmm. Good intentions are drawn on the back of Hermes recei-pits. I wonder how much more good would come when the village received water and food and updated facilities and schooling. Taking one child out of the village, and into a world of first-class travel, macrobiotic wet-nursing, and paparazzi, yes, MUCH better life. Using the water supply to adminster saltpeter and birth control to the population, OH NO, that's unethical. But the sex-trafficking of young girls, the rapes, the spread of AIDS, all in Nature's Plan. I cannot wait to be rich enough to care about others!
Gun Control - Everyone gets one. And 12 bullets that are made of rock salt. They'll pierece your skin, and hurt a lot, and then you'll know why you should use blinkers on the freeway. There, everyone happy now?
SUVs - Everyone in smaller cars should breathe easier. If you drive a small car, you use much less fuel. And that's GOOD, so the fire will be quick and small when you're crushed under the SUV. SUVs can only be driven by men over the age of 45. Until that time, your testosterone's too high to be trusted with this thing. And odds are you're not blaring rap's music out the windows. Nobody cares you be tippin' on fo'-fo's, mung. Nice wheelz! And how's your retirement account?
Dangerous Dog Breeds - Again, something ruined by idiots. Sorry, we can't trust the idiots, so we have to keep the breeds away from everyone. If you want to walk around with something dangerous on a leash, make friends with an Oakland Raiders fan.
Mobile Phones - You get as many minutes as equal to your credit score, PER YEAR. Text messages would be $5 a pop. Phones wouldn't work indoors unless you paid the establishment a $10 deposit, and had to talk while wearing a plastic bag over your head. You can yammer away as long as the oxygen allows.
Drinking Age - If you can vote at 18, and drink at 21, it's only right that the drinking age be changed, to 39. Your brain isn't fully developed until 25 or so, why float it on Natty Ice until you start a decent 401(k)? You shouldn't be drinking until you have to get up early for something the next morning. Drinking is for adults, not you.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Gay Marriage - Marriage between any two consenting adults deemed mentally competent should be legal. Marriage is a legally-recognized institution. Everyone should have equal pressure from their family and be made to feel like they are hideous freaks if not married by the age of 29. And they should not have open the backdoor of saying "Oh, we WOULD get married, but YOU won't let us!" I don't care what you do, when you do it, or how much it costs.
At the very least, incorporate. If you think the paperwork and inclusion in newspapers is what will solidify your relationship, have at 'er. Butch & Sundance were Partners. Lucy and Ricky were Spouses. Enyoy.
Apparently the Gay Community is unaware that, as tough as they've had it, they will NOT be discriminated against when getting their asses kicked by the Bride-to-Be who is ALSO trying to book the Atrium for the second Saturday in June. God be with you.
Legalizing Marijuana - Great idea. But you have to have a license to sell it, pay taxes on it, must be purchased from a licensed grower for re-sale, records kept of purchase and retail, and subject to the same scrutiny as all other vegitation that makes you happy. BUT... no retail outlets. Nope, the drug dealers already have this on lock-down, let 'em work. If it's shady, it's shady. Half the value in getting high is the feeling that you're gonna die during the transaction. And, like cigarettes, it cannot be smoked in public without heavy judgment/envy.
Prostitution - How is THIS illegal? Every other Westernized nation in the world has some sort of legalized hooking. Legalize, make the women... or men... register for a license. Prior to which, they must prove to be 18, have a GED, and (not "OR") submit to a drug test and blood test for STDs. Every 6 months, tested again. Run it outta yer single-wide like that day care that never got off the ground, lousy probation! Inspections by health inspectors! See, now you're generating JOBS AND REVENUE. Legalizing it won't drive people into hooking or looking any more than it already does. If a person wants to pay somebody to have sex with them, without hiding it as dinner and a few drinks, they should have the right to. And why subject women to the blathering of a crotch-hungry dude? Split the diff for $150, get under the bed like a good pig, and be on your way. SO UPTIGHT.
This also brings down the crime rates against women working in this line of work. They're doing it anyway. It's still a choice they have to make to go do it. Shouldn't be promoted as a viable one, mind you, but it sure as hell isn't stopping folks who need their urges fulfilled. It happens DAILY in various forms.
Seat Belt Laws - While these traffic stops do yield results in getting some thugs and felons on warrants, for the most part, it's a chicken-shit way for the cops to harrass unsafe people. It's a form of profiling, too. A GOOD ONE. You really want to make cars safe? NO SEATBELTS. Now who just slowed down 20MPH? Everybody, right. Now we're all driving around in loaded guns, makes you think before reaching for that text message, du'n't it?
Red Light Cameras - A camera? Chicken's PLOPS. You can't have ONE officer standing there pulling people off the road? MAKE IT NOW, IMMEDIATE, SPOT FOUL... you pay the fine or you get your car towed. OR, even better, do away with the camera, and put a gun turret in the camera box. Firing blanks, 99.8% of the time, but that sends a message at 240 rounds per second. To think it could have been avoided if only you hadn't hit that snooze alarm! Sorry for the .50 shell grazing your manifold.
Tax Increases On Douchenozzles, Asspleats, and Seatsniffers - Why are we taxing the wealthy when we should be taxing people who spend money poorly? $100, screen-printed t-shirt? 8.9% sales tax, and 4.1% Dunce Tax. Nice Ed Hardy tee, Yvgeny. Way to plan for retirement!
Axe Body Spray on the shopping list? How about upping the cost to about $100 a bottle? Sorry, now only for people who can afford it. And if you can afford Axe at that point, you aren't the kind of person who would wear it. I can't wear Axe BodySpritz, as I have a severe allergy to marketing. Axe, now in "Aggro Fingering" and " 'NO' Means 'Buy Her a Shot!' " scents.
Pooka Shell Necklaces should cost $500.
Male pinky rings? At 32? Just hitting the market at $2,000!
Perhaps it's a ploy of mine to drive the individuality out of people. More than likely, it's to see America with the best-dressed Foreclosed-Upon immigrants and turdwrinkles this side of ROSS.
Adopting Kids From "Developing Nations" - Adopting children from every continent, instead of, you know, getting a mug at the giftshop, is the ultimate in Celebrity Accessoriality. Mmmm. Good intentions are drawn on the back of Hermes recei-pits. I wonder how much more good would come when the village received water and food and updated facilities and schooling. Taking one child out of the village, and into a world of first-class travel, macrobiotic wet-nursing, and paparazzi, yes, MUCH better life. Using the water supply to adminster saltpeter and birth control to the population, OH NO, that's unethical. But the sex-trafficking of young girls, the rapes, the spread of AIDS, all in Nature's Plan. I cannot wait to be rich enough to care about others!
Gun Control - Everyone gets one. And 12 bullets that are made of rock salt. They'll pierece your skin, and hurt a lot, and then you'll know why you should use blinkers on the freeway. There, everyone happy now?
SUVs - Everyone in smaller cars should breathe easier. If you drive a small car, you use much less fuel. And that's GOOD, so the fire will be quick and small when you're crushed under the SUV. SUVs can only be driven by men over the age of 45. Until that time, your testosterone's too high to be trusted with this thing. And odds are you're not blaring rap's music out the windows. Nobody cares you be tippin' on fo'-fo's, mung. Nice wheelz! And how's your retirement account?
Dangerous Dog Breeds - Again, something ruined by idiots. Sorry, we can't trust the idiots, so we have to keep the breeds away from everyone. If you want to walk around with something dangerous on a leash, make friends with an Oakland Raiders fan.
Mobile Phones - You get as many minutes as equal to your credit score, PER YEAR. Text messages would be $5 a pop. Phones wouldn't work indoors unless you paid the establishment a $10 deposit, and had to talk while wearing a plastic bag over your head. You can yammer away as long as the oxygen allows.
Drinking Age - If you can vote at 18, and drink at 21, it's only right that the drinking age be changed, to 39. Your brain isn't fully developed until 25 or so, why float it on Natty Ice until you start a decent 401(k)? You shouldn't be drinking until you have to get up early for something the next morning. Drinking is for adults, not you.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Monday, September 22, 2008
My Opinion of Lingo VOIP
I have an opinion, and in America, it's okay to share those things.
I will not say anything here that is not true.
For the past month I have tried to cancel my Lingo.com VOIP phone account/number. It was our home phone we used in Kirkland, and we no longer need it. Been almost a month now since we used it.
Prior to cancellation, there were frequent times the router would turn off, though plugged in and should have been working. Technology 1, Lotts 0. Then it would click back on like I had not just caught it napping under the rhodies. During the time, the broadband router it ran through was supplying plenty o' internet use, so that connection was fine.
Trying to cancel my account with Lingo has been a restless dream, though not a total nightmare. First line of defense, per usual these days, is a non-English-as-first-language Customer Service Representative. I've called a number of times, and 50% of the time they cannot hear me (there are swarms of voices behind them) or they are having problems with their "system." Shiva forbid you write something down.
So finally I get through and need to cancel this account, which they wouldn't let me do a MONTH ago because I was supposed to call in and have it cancelled, though I handled everything they needed via email.
Finally, I called in and got through, because we haven't used this thing in over a month during our relocation. Option 5 takes you to somebody to verify your information, after being on-hold for a few minutes, then another few minutes on hold to talk to the Cancellation Department...
WHAT?
You have an option to CANCEL which doesn't take you to THE Cancellation Department?
Hospitals are known for this, also. You come in and they ask you if you'd like to see a doctor. Then send you to a doctor.
SO I cancel this thing, and the girl helping me is not very enthusiastic (understandable) nor educated (unconfirmed). Her attitude was on-par with working a 2nd shift at Taco Bell on her due date, BUT I DIGRESSETH...
And then, to get $ back for the month we didn't use after trying to cancel and their problems keeping me from being able to talk to a robot wearing a human suit...
I GO ON HOLD FOR ANOTHER 6 MINUTES, then get disconnected.
Now, I'm not sure how F'ed up Lingo works for other people.
But let's recount...
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
I will not say anything here that is not true.
For the past month I have tried to cancel my Lingo.com VOIP phone account/number. It was our home phone we used in Kirkland, and we no longer need it. Been almost a month now since we used it.
Prior to cancellation, there were frequent times the router would turn off, though plugged in and should have been working. Technology 1, Lotts 0. Then it would click back on like I had not just caught it napping under the rhodies. During the time, the broadband router it ran through was supplying plenty o' internet use, so that connection was fine.
Trying to cancel my account with Lingo has been a restless dream, though not a total nightmare. First line of defense, per usual these days, is a non-English-as-first-language Customer Service Representative. I've called a number of times, and 50% of the time they cannot hear me (there are swarms of voices behind them) or they are having problems with their "system." Shiva forbid you write something down.
So finally I get through and need to cancel this account, which they wouldn't let me do a MONTH ago because I was supposed to call in and have it cancelled, though I handled everything they needed via email.
Finally, I called in and got through, because we haven't used this thing in over a month during our relocation. Option 5 takes you to somebody to verify your information, after being on-hold for a few minutes, then another few minutes on hold to talk to the Cancellation Department...
WHAT?
You have an option to CANCEL which doesn't take you to THE Cancellation Department?
Hospitals are known for this, also. You come in and they ask you if you'd like to see a doctor. Then send you to a doctor.
SO I cancel this thing, and the girl helping me is not very enthusiastic (understandable) nor educated (unconfirmed). Her attitude was on-par with working a 2nd shift at Taco Bell on her due date, BUT I DIGRESSETH...
And then, to get $ back for the month we didn't use after trying to cancel and their problems keeping me from being able to talk to a robot wearing a human suit...
I GO ON HOLD FOR ANOTHER 6 MINUTES, then get disconnected.
Now, I'm not sure how F'ed up Lingo works for other people.
But let's recount...
- In-house technical issues.
- Communication issues between customers and the white people that work there.
- Cancellation Department located in the 2nd circle of Discouraging Careers, 3 doors on the left from the vending machines.
- Attitude, Attitude, Attitude.
- The Billing Department is either so busy that they can't handle call volumes (you pay poorly, you get the poorly-abled), or their department is so hated that they can't handle the hate-call volumes.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
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