What Did You Expect?

Well SHIT.

Once again George W. Bush has won a Presidential election by a very narrow, questionable margin. The question I have is this:
Why the fuck is everyone I work with, and most everyone in general, talking about politics like they know what the hell is going on? I honestly doubt they know jack about the workings of the Senate floor, because if they did I'm sure I would have seen them at an Open Mic at some point. Lord knows they are cracking themselves up, as I am hearing ballot box-loads of nervous "This is supposed to be funny, so I will now laugh instead of allowing this person's feelings to be hurt" laughter.

We needed to ask ourselves a simple question before voting yesterday: In what positions, as U.S. citizens, are we most comfortable being royally fucked? If you thought we'd wake up with Kerry as President and all the wars having wonderously ended shortly before your RootyTooty Fresh&Fruity order being placed, you gotta straighten up. I have read and heard and sifted through enough information to know that neither Kerry nor W. would have been able to unfuck the fuck-ed-ness of America's stature in the world.

Bush has run our country's economy (read: White People's jobs) into the ground. Since taxes are the retail charges our Governmental Strip Mall has to charge for the Orange Julius and Priceless Pretzel you just picked up, if they drop their prices (read: tax cut), then quality will eventually suffer (read: fewer paid jobs OR the same jobs for lower wages). But we do love a bargain in America. And we got a President who knows all about slashing prices. But hey, he's "tough on Terrorism," which is a way of saying "he'll shoot from the porch, then check it out in the morning." Terrorism is not an "-ism." It's a religious movement, people. It's a beards-out war on American interests and symbols designed at getting our government's attention. Those prayer-crazy fig-logs are cutting the heads off of people working as contractors for American companies. That's DECAPITATION, Homey, and it ain't guillotine style. How do you deal with that?
And NO, he's not tough on Terrorism, and the Patriot Act has nothing to do with Patriotism. If Bush were truly TOUGH on Terrorism, he would have ex-fuckin'-scused himself from storytime back on 9/11/01 when he heard a hijacked plane went flight-deck first into an American financial beacon. I hope that story was funny enough to sit through.
One thing is for sure, you don't say "Okay, whatever you want. We'll look the other way." Next thing you know you're having trouble understanding the guy "helping" you fix your computer or selling you a pizza-tube at 7-11... oh shit...
I hoped for the Bush victory because I hope his administration will have learned from their mistakes with Iraq before we go any further. Saddam had to go, but he's been gone a year now, and we're still hanging around.
However, Bush led every company he's ever run directly into bankruptcy, with a bravery that can only be likened to "gross negligence." Bush also took over a heat-stroked economy backsliding after the celebratory drunken knee-&-palms-&-chin scraping known as The Internet StartUp Downfall. And President Bush courageously threw a rope to that faltering economy as it tumbled down the hillside of ShortSighted Capitalist Peak. He then launched himself off, screaming "BUNGEE JUUUUUUUUMP YEEEEHAAAAAW!" Nobody's holdin' that rope, W. Really should have had somebody tie that off.

Boring-story-slightly-longer:
Please God, watch over the leaders of this country. Don't let the Bush Administration fuck this up like that Halliburton thing, or the Enron bail-out, or the 3 companies that W. forgot to feed. We're all a little freaked out right now, especially those of us who voted for Nader. Amen."
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Had Kerry been elected President, would we have been more comfortably fucked? Would he take care of OUR needs as the fuckees? It sure sounded like it. It's so easy to trust a man wearing a "LiveStrong" bracelet and a $2,500 suit. It's much easier to be on the side of a man who's second, yes, SECOND wife's family is well known for their ability to cover things up and hide mistakes, and yes, sometimes make it all a little tastier.
I hoped for the Kerry victory because he wanted to make it almost impossible for this nations corporate giants to send jobs overseas and/or offshore. A few blogs back, a comment left by Peter Johnson, a.k.a., "PJ," made key points about the proliferation of offshoring, not the least of which was a subtextual allusion to the "freaky hump style" of the foreign gals that PJ like so much. You have to read between the lines. It's there.

I shouldn't blog when I'm this jet-lagged. Okay, so this is what we have to work with. Keep reading and talking and thinking about politics. Don't let this go away. I wish I could throw down something that would make you feel better about the overall election day, which went nearly the exact opposite of everything I had hoped for. I wish I had words of encouragement and hope and direction. But I'm avoter, not a politician. I don't know squat about politics, other than I love the word "gubernatorial."
And mozzarella, fucking LOVE the motz.
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