What You Are Laughing At

Homicide Trifle: Ain't Nothin' But A G-Thang

Get this straight: I'm at work and I don't want to be here. I'm coloring in spreadsheets, cutting and pasting so much I'm high on e-glue fumes. BUT, I also have amazing job flexiblity, so much so that I can regularly kiss my own ass and take a day off.
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Last night was the "Suicide Pie" show for Meghan Hounshell's travel fund. She is heading to San Fran for a comedy competition and needed a little extra fundage. Meghan's a friend and I hope she goes down there and kicks ass in the comp. Comedy comps are usually like the third self-pleasure of the day: Pace yourself and it's a good time, otherwise you're gonna hurt. I've seen people in the finals of comps who truly suck, pulling hack joke after hack joke out of their hacksides. But when you're judged by people who go priapic (look it up) to know that "King Of Queens" is in syndication, "comedy" is simply an umbrella term. I wish the best to Meghan, and I was happy to perform at her benefit show. She better not f*ck it up.

The entire night was fun but odd. The audience was up & down more than a sophomore on Prom night. RIMJOB! SHOT, RIMSHOT, sorry. Anybuns, it was hard to tell what they'd laugh at, but that's good. Don't pander by tailoring to a room full of people when Meghan's getting all the money. I did a great set in the back-half of the night in front of a room full of Seattle pseudo-smarties and lez-biguous sandal soldiers. I think if people, person by person, just went ahead and took a few hours a day to skip out of work and go do what they say they would do if they had all the free time in the world, those people would realize just how full of crap they are. They get a free weekend, no weddings to drink at, rooms to paint, indie coffee-filled mugs run manicured digits rim-side. They could do whatever they want. Every time I see a group of people picketing to get America out of Iraq I make a wish that a truck on the way to a food bank would drive by and a pallet of Del Monte Cling Peaches would slide out the back and mow them to their hips. It's soccer parenting without the kids. All this, and I think I had one of the best sets of the show, so you can feel my love affair for Seattle. This probably would have been better off in another blog. The line to blow me forms in front of the Queen Anne Starbucks. (stepping down off soapbox)

Everyone had solid sets last night, I can't think of one where somebody just sat down with a spoon and a bowl of shyte and ... oh wait... the MC wasn't getting the laughs he deserved, that's fo' sure. But he wasn't eating crap as much as he was taking one for the team. So yeah, everyone did well. Top to bottom, that was a solid, funny show.
I'm pretty free on stage lately. I do little else than take a topic with a few points in my head, stand on stage and begin to talk, to allow myself to take the right or left fork or just plow through the brush. It's a little exhilirating at times, not knowing where on earth it's coming from, but I can feel my brain open up, like the third eye is reading from a different list than my jokes reside on. My props to all who performed. Meghan, seriously... do not f*ck up.
My gawd, I am really good looking.

Last night I had a convo with my most-recent ex, with whom I am still on good terms. At one point we were ribbing each other about how we viewed our friendship in its current light. And she told me that one of her friends wasn't being totally honest with themselves, causing a lot of drama elsewhere. That's usually how it starts. I told her that I value honesty above all else among my friends, because a person's ability to be honest with you shows a certain level of reality and respect. Sometimes Honesty plays the Devil's Advocate, which is vital for balance. Truth is truth. Everything else is a misperception, and some folks like to swing wildly with their perception of the world around them. For some people, the word "drinking" means "getting drunk." To others it means "have a drink or two." To me it means "bored on Tuesday." Perception vs. Truth. They really need to get together and do it, if ya know what I mean. I can't remember how my ex and I got to it, but I reminded her that, being the ex boyfriend, if any "bullsh*t" starts flying, I won't be targeted. Got no need for it, and I deserve better. Truth is my shovel. But in my honesty/perception, you should never have to take BS from anybody, unless the BS truck is outside and it's got your order for 18 linear feet of manure ready for dumpage. (read: repeating self-destructive behavior over & over. grow up)

Apparently quite a few of her friends ask about me, which is flattering. It's funny to be a step back from the whole picture and be free to see people as they are, not in their "roles" in a scene. At 30 years old I have done a fair amount of "highlighting the hair of my soul" in the past few years. This isn't a license to judge folks, but it gives me much more empathy for people who seem to live in emotional and social chaos. Of course, that's just my perception. I could be right. Or wrong. But as I step away from any situation I see some people who take no responsibility for their own integrity, and therefore look only to fill an emptiness in their lives through the approval of others. (yes, I stand on stage in front of strangers and tell jokes, it's not lost on me, but I know why and choose to. I like me plenty)
Who should I date? Am I ready to date? It's just a date, right? It's just coffee, right? It's more than just coffee, right? Or should we just do it? Should I go back to school? I hate school, I should learn a trade. Screw it, I'll quit everything and become a comic, that's what all my friends have done. Just ask them, they're all in my living room asleep on the couches. Or maybe I should...
We all have something called Gut Instinct. It's the weight of your Conscience, wrapped in your own ideals and upbringing. What's good to you? What's right and wrong? What's important? Answer that for yourself and you may never find yourself food-injured while picketing a cause that needs not be picketed for.

If I have one lesson to share, it is this: You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but then you'd sticky and fly-covered.

Off to Watch Whales in the San Juans!

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My Non-Funny Blog.