What You Are Laughing At

Oh For the Love Of Christ...

My work neighbors are having a religious discussion based on their in-depth knowledge and hours of enmeshment in "The Da Vinci Code." Oh my dad, this is what it's coming to. We're back to some old fashioned values here. People are talking war and religion and politics in the work place. "The Passion Of The Christ" is the new "Greatest Story Ever Told." Boston Rahn is the new J. Edgar Hoover. The people in the discussion just NOW both said they purchased "The Passion" on DVD. Thank you Jesus for dying in digital surround sound. Yep, religion, politics, sex, money, it's all coming back around, all the old fashioned values. Finally, we're back to a time when a professional athlete can rape a woman and not go to jail. Don't groan, that's the best Kobe Bryant joke you'll ever read.

Oh good, now it's time for a Japanese prison camp story from the shooting/peanut gallery. There's nothing quite like being in the middle of the crowd and hoping that somebody in the rafters had a bad day on the TIG-welder and is loading their rifle. Wing me if you must, but please remove these dipasses.

Notice, dear reader, that this is my first day back at work, and how it's changed my blogs. The following blog was written late last night... I need a new dogma.

Give It Up For Giving It Up

This weekend I had 4 great sets and one so-so set. One of the highlights was having about 20 minutes to hang out with one of my favorite comics, Marc Maron, who popped in to Giggles after his sets and Bumbershat. He was there in support of his wife, the funny and porcelain-cheeked Mishna Wolff, who was doing a guest set. Maron got there and stood near the door to the show room... near his f*cking HEAD SHOT... What kind of ego does that take? YOU'RE A NEUROTIC COMEDY JEW. I couldn't stand to see him loiter for attention any longer so I waved him over to where the comics were all sitting. He seemed to calm down a bit once Mishna gave him some taffy. Actually, it was a few seconds later that I mentioned to Marc of his original proximity to his headshot and he said something to the effect of "You wanna die? Keep talking, Gentile." Don't cross him.

Honestly, Marc Maron is stellar. Funny, intelligent, and flying just under the radar enough to stay truly funny. Mishna was also really funny with some good sarcasm, magazine-cover bone structure, and staying far enough away from the "Men suck" jokes that ripple through ovarian comedy like so much body shame. She was wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt, proudly. A REAL one, not a Hot Topix, pierced tongue- in -pierced cheek knock-off. Marc Maron & Mishna Wolf; the Jay-Z and Beyoncé of comedy. I got 99 problems but notoriety ain't one.

The so-so set was Monday at the Undergrind's Open Mouth extravaganza. I went first with the intention of doing the new stuff and getting out at a decent hour. I stuck around to see Shoogs and The Professor, whom shall be named later perform. Shoogs was doing newer stuff, had a good set. The Professor returned to the stage after 5-ish months and had a great set, great new jokes. I'm happy he's back, he's one of my favorite people, on-stage and off... if ya know what I mean, in a juvenile/homo-hint kind of way.

Interspersed were sets from The Commander who, I thought, had well-written material. The crowd was in & out for it, but he's got something very Commander going on, and if he sticks with it he'll be under a blanket crying soon, and that's on a good day. I look forward to his set on Wednesday Night, which you will attend because it's gonna be rad. Also caught the set of The Safecracker, who has the ammo to blow bricks out of the walls. Funny, ascerbic. Like a verbal middle finger.

Then came giant bowls full of hack crap. Wow, jokes about fat strippers (whaaa?), wearing diapers when you don't need them, and being anti-gay marriage (but not for the reasons we would think, see, because those would actually be, you know... FUNNY), and it just kept spiraling from there. People were asked to give it up for the troops. There's at least one waitress who does on a reg'lar basis, thank you, I'll be here all blog. I guess I've seen enough comedy to wonder if other industries have the same intra-critiquing as comedy. I'm gonna leave it at this: I'm sure at some point in their history, Hemingway read Pound and refused to wipe with the pages of Ezra's passages, so as not to sully a good dump. (if you're counting, that's a literary shit joke. I'm taking the rest of the day off)

I have moments where I watch open mics and hear things that make me wish I'd never learned to clean my ears. I know those performers tell people they "do comedy," and I used to turn violently ill at that thought. But I had to let that go. I'm sure someone thought that of me at some point. Also, it's up to me, each time on stage, to do my best for the crowd and my own pride. At the same time, I hope that those who base their humor in or near a restroom, will invite friends to see their "comedy doings," or "doo'ings," as they are. I want their friends to get perspective as to what stand-up is, in all its forms, and make up their own minds. If they like me and my friends, great. If the hack's friends don't dig on us, or me, perhaps that's even better. I wouldn't want to be part of any group that I would rather sit outside of and ridicule.

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now. Have a good Tuesday. "Yo, Scott Weiland!" will return tomorrow.

------------------------
Take Me Home

My Non-Funny Blog.