What You Are Laughing At

See and Be Scene
It's been 6 days since I last set foot upon a stage, and I'm fine with that. The more I hear stories about the muck of the Seattle Comedy Scene the happier I am to be spending my nights writing and getting my life in order. To say or believe "I must be on stage!" in dramatic "Our Town" fashion would be egotistic if not overreactive. Comedy isn't going anywhere.
Take that last sentence any way you like.
The Seattle comedy scene stinks. No newspapers have a "comedy club" section. Clubs are lumped in with 100 other "To Do" events, but the advertising and hype just isn't there for comedy. KMTT, 103.7 does a pretty fair job of pushing the scene, but only if there's somebody "big" in town.
How often can you go see Hit Explosion? Oh yay, The Retros are playing again… yay and stuff. Comedy is way more adult-oriented than any of that crap. You can be any age and come to an early show in a Seattle club, and you're not going to have your eardrums blown out or get roofied by pooka-shell Frat droppings. Usually. We want to entertain you. Come see us. We love yooooou!

Rumours and Tumours

The company I work for (DeathStar Communications) is in turmoil. When you're lied to for a year, and lied to about being lied to for months after that lie is made public, then your job is sold out from under you, turmoil tends to bubble up from beneath the feelings of betrayal and dysentery.
In the midst of all of this we now have a "stock issue" where the bid price for the cash buyout is about 9% higher than where our stock is already… meaning that even when someone says "you're worth X-much," management still cannot live up to that expectation.
In the midst of both of those comes the "in-house industry analysts" who read or thought they read or read about what someone thought about this whole box of rocks. These turds then walk around trying to strike up conversations about what's going on, because they have some stolen perspective on the topic.
Tell me again… how does a person with such "expertise" of Corporate Acquisitions and Mergers, as well as stock price-gap analysis, end up changing copier ink cartridges for $15 an hour? Why howdy ho, they ought'n to be runnin' this show! Don't ya think?
These are the same people who go to the doctor with pain in their chest and a tingly left arm and say "I slept on it wrong. I'm positive it's just from sleeping on it wrong." And that's why this company has no heart.

And While I'm At It

If you have kids, stop talking about your kids all the time. If you can't have kids, stop talking about your pets all the time. Your cat doesn't have trust issues with you. It hates you. That's why it filled your Aerosoles with Kitty Roca. I grew up with cats and never came back to a slipper-load of Tabby Tootsie Rolls.
And… are you sure it wasn't your husband, send you subtle hints about your wardrobe being a turn-off, thus your lack of offspring?
Who wants to bring kids into this world, anyway? It's horrible! With the war, the famine, and Freddie Prinze, Jr. movies, what kind of world is this to raise kids in? How can you give them hope when Heather Graham has a MOVIE career?

What's My Problem Today?
I'm endulging my meaner side. We all have it, and nobody lets it out. They try and wrap it in the success of their latest diet (The Chicago Pizza/No-Crust Plan!) and choke it back with a double-thick hate shake. People can annoy you even if you don't let 'em. I can get used to my alarm going off in the morning, and sleep through it. I can get used to a dull ache in my face from having my gumline restructured. I can even get used to a dog yappin' on a lazy (i.e. vodka-blurred) fall afternoon when I'm trying to nap.
But I can never, and will never, get used to people overpowering conversations with banality and a breadth of pop culture knowledge that drops off around 1985. The world kept turning, why didn't your wardrobe?

Comedy isn't going anywhere. I am. It starts with an "O" and ends with an "A," and there's an "M" in the middle of it.
~Geoff

"I've never paid for sex, but I've had a couple of great dates where I paid for dinner."
~ Geoffrey Lott