Ah yeah.
The drone of the workday. Out of my ears for a bit. I was working with a contracting agency that placed me into The Software Empire. It was fun. It was fun because of the people. The work itself, meh, it just got in the way of getting stuff done.
As a co-worker, people talk spoke to me in a “get this done, it’s on you, yer fly’s still open” tone of voice. Not demeaning as much as passive, in that “I’m passing this off to you, I’m too busy/important/white to do it.” It wasn’t about respect as much as deflection. But hey, if I wanted to not have to do that work, I would work harder. See how that happens? It’s another of life’s cycles, much like a bicycle, NASCAR, and the making of one’s own poo.
I have always been the jack-of-all-trades. (Do not YaMoogle that term at work, by the way. There will be talkings-to.) I can do many things well. I can do one or two things extremely well, like crazy-good when I’m “in the zone.” Those things are in a rotating catalog of Performing Comedy, Writing, Baking, and “The Grown Folk’s Bidness.” You mind your own business, THAT’s what that is. In having diverse skills, I rarely have had the chance to let a particular one shine. Then again, I like farting around at work as much as the next nuclear submarine missile-launcher guy. But really, what grown man isn't entitled to 45minutes of chair-spinning per day?
But work, really, isn’t about “THE WORK” or “THE MONEY” or stealing decent lunches from “THE BREAKROOM” or “THE CANDY ON THE DESK NOBODY WOULD TALK TO OTHERWISE.” It’s about The People. I think.,
What I’ve learned from the Working World so far:
1) The Work you do, the actual production, is truly an expression of your character. Perhaps it is in HOW you do it more than WHAT you do. So when you go to put your best foot forward, remember that not only will people always expect that high level of quality in the future, but you are also likely to step directly into another person’s work/shit-pile.
2) The People you work with are the most vital component of your work. Knowing how to get along with people, who you can confide in, who can be trusted, is as important as any other weapon or skill. These folks are the ones you can count on to take the blame when you get wine-drunk at lunch again and forget that you’re leading the monthly review for HR’s “Diversity Practices,” and you haven’t yet removed that one side-note asking why every head of HR looks like a man-hater. Rrriiiiiiiiiiiiight. You can’t be fair unless everyone is judged unfairly.
3) The Money is important, but it’s only the most-important thing, if you don’t love your job. If you love your job every day, you’re one of those lucky folks who forgets to take the pill for short-term memory loss, but remembers the mood-uppers. Money is important, especially because you bought so much shoddy Swiss furniture in the past 5 years, you gotta get something substantial. Glue + BedFrame = Floor Sleeping. Get as much money as you can, horde it in a mattress, and start buying guns, canned food, and firewood. Paper money isn’t any good in this country, it’s all digital 1’s and 0’s these days. Cash Rules Ever’thing Around Me, hunna-dolla bill y’all, HOLLA. With enough money you can buy people to do your work for you. Think I’m wrong. I have two words for you. FLAVOR. FLAV. SO. THERE.
4) The Freebies, or “Perks,” or “what’s left behind when somebody leaves.” Getting a new desk phone is cool, but even cooler is some cool keyboard or mouse or desk. Food comes and goes, but sleek-looking desktop accoutrements are THA SHIZ. First chance you get, vulture that biznass and high-tail it to the breakroom for some Farewell Cake.
5) Managers are chosen for one of two reasons: They have the talents and skills to lead and guide multiple people across varying disciplines, or they have been with the company for a while now and seem about the right age to manage. I’ve had a lot of the latter. So when I recently had the former, it was like a breath of fresh air that didn’t smell like Chaps cologne and two days of smoking. Managers aren’t necessarily “Management,” a term I’ve usually reserved for the usually-absent “crusty uppers” with corner offices, sham marriages, and executive assistants either verrry attractive or verrrrrrrry “rustic.”
Now, don’t get me wrong about Work; it’s necessary. It’s good for the Soul. In the times I have been unemployed I’ve had searing moments of cabin fever. It’s not good to be cooped up all day hoping something fun happens or an unseen episode of “Scrubs” happens your way. And if you don’t have children or LSD, it can get somewhat lonely.
I will work, someday soon, in the jobs I really want and ougth to be doing. Those jobs aren’t available, appropriately, in Seattle, however. In the meantime, I can only prepare myself and my soul for another go-‘round in the Corporate Machine, giving all I got, if not for the Passion, then for the Glory. And I can only hope to do a good enough job that, upon leaving, my Bedazzled mousepad is retired, and my Farewell Cake is chocolatey.
I would like to thank the CSG Bay of Redwest A, 2227, for a great year. Don’t forget me. Which would be difficult until you find where that “brine shrimp/hot vinegar” smell is coming from.
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