Top 10 Reasons You're Not Working

1. It's like 8:45 at night. Where are you working, Necrocomicon's Comics & Cards?
2. You're reading this while dorkatrons steal Magic: The Gathering sets.
3. F*cking short-sighted manager, man. Dude couldn't see how you work better when you're, like, "lifted."
4. Because you told some old bag that you didn't sell ice, but if she bought some water and hit the walk-in for 3 hours, she could Do It Herse'f.
5. HAVE YOU NOT USED AN iPAD YET? HOLY CRAP.
6. That super hot guy in application design just walked by and you think he smelled your toot and even though you know you shouldn't have eaten all that broccoli it's ALIVE and now you're freaking out and can't work, you just CA'... NOT.
7. Not Facebook, nope, that's not it so don't even check the other Firefox tab.
8. Watchin' Geoff Lott tear it up on Y'allTube. Dude's got mad MC skillz. No.. SQEELZ
9. Getting the last of your papers in order for support of your thesis, "Geoff Lott's Comedy As Metaphor Of Seattle's Frustration With Lack Of Courtesies To Hosts At Restaurants."
10. It's this economy, man. Got that taco truck converted to the first-ever Sushi-grade Chicken van and pfft, everyone got tight on you.

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