This Is Majorly Sucking

Right now on Saturday Night Live, there's a shitpile passing for a sketch where these dicklumps are putting "Alexander The Grump" and syphillis-gun Colin Farrell through the paces of a "rhyme run." Lots of rhymes to get laughs instead of actual wit or anything. Lindsay Lohan is on the show, also, and there's not one mention of Colin using a sLohan to getting his nicotine-darkened fingers wet. He's a cad, she's a mess, it's a match made in fan fiction. That show sucks.

Good Bye, First Amendment
In Lancaster, PA a city councilman is trying to rid a farmer's market of a picture of President Bush.
Citing that the close and bitter election has cast sadness throughout all of Lancaster, this commie hemmorhoid believes the city needs a "time of healing." Regardless of how you think Pres. Bush should be removed from office, this City Councilman needs to be removed from his car and beaten crotch-wise. Somebody PLEASE hit that guy with the shovel he used to stack bullshit that first got him elected, PLEEEEEEEEEEEAASE! What's funnier is that this guy's name is "Nelson Polite." Hello Sexually Repressed. That has to be a fake name. Satan's in Lancaster, and he's Yellow Paged under "Polite, Nelson." No spouse.

The poster of the poster is a baker, a business owner. W.'s been good to the small business owner. It's at a "farmer's market," a group that is likely quite liberal, what with the shaping, painting, and selling of all kind o' beads, pots, and knitted clothing. It doesn't matter if it's in the middle of a church-run home for out of work porn starlets, THIS IS STILL AMERICA AND YOU CAN SAY, POST, SING, AND EXPRESS WHATEVER THE HELL YOU LIKE.

As long as it's popular, otherwise, don't bother me. Who knew Republicans would become the new hippies? You can't say shit in this country without someone getting offended. Fine. The worst is that nobody will ever take a moment and reflect on why they were offended. Say something offensive, and the person will likely stomp away to tell the manager of the coffee boutique, who will then ask that you please be nice. Or the offended party will quickly and forcefully reach into their pocket, ball up their fist, and retract it violently, wrapped around a cell phone to call their friend and tell them how they were just, ga-friggin'-sp, offended! HOW DARE THEE!

Get a sense of humor about yourself. You're going to die. No matter how much good you do in life, no matter how many petitions you hold in front of supermarkets, nor how many pockets-worth of coins you toss in the "Save Kids Without Playstations" cannister at the store, YOU WILL BE FORGOTTEN. If you can't laugh at that, we'll see you at the open mic. You have three minutes. Don't f*ck up.


Tony Moser reminds me of a white Derrick Cameron.
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