Geoff Lott: Comedian, Writer, Philosoteur. I am here to amuse you, not entertain you. If not now, later. If not you, somebody else. If you can't laugh at yourself, that's just fine, too. I will do it for you.
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It’s been over 5 years since I had a permanent, full-time, benefits+retirement+paid vacation job. 5 years. 1,500 days. I had one for a short time in 2008, but also had a few chances to make something bigger happen in my life, and thus happened the California misAdventures. Still, I wouldn’t trade those 14 months for anything in the world. However, I think a lot of folks may be taking what’s happened in the world, and how it missed them, for granted. And I’m hungry for it.
I want to take better care of my family. I work my ass off and want to be able to spend a full week at Christmas with my family and not fret over missing a week of pay. I want to give a company 50 hours a week, and a few on the weekend, and in return, bank a couple hundy for my retirement as a “thanks for last Saturday.” I’ll earn it.
As a contractor, I’ve busted my ass in large companies around the Puget Sound in order to keep working, maybe be brought on full-time, as well as gain experience. Not all companies work like that anymore. I haven’t had paid vacations, bonuses, nor the ability to really dump $ into my retirement accounts. This is what I’ve sacrificed in the face of “do not change. Change nothing. Don’t shake it up. Sit tight.” Financially it hasn’t been the best move. Sitting on the side of the “have not as much’es” (but still doing well), I miss out on money if I take days off work to go on a trip with the family. This is part of being a contract employee. My efforts go towards realizing the goals of the organizations I work in. I receive money for that. That’s all. It’s fact, not jealousy. And a lot of people I see who haven’t changed a thing in their careers have missed the point: If you’re not growing, you’re wilting.
In the meantime, I have scooped up experiences most folks have missed out on completely while their salary adjusted 3% up, and they complained. And they received a company-wide performance bonus, and complained it wasn’t as large as last year’s. I pay out of pocket for health benefits, and it doesn’t cover everything, which still matters around tax time. Full timers had to pay another $5 on the co-pay, and complained about getting screwed. Stress is a killer, ma’am. Take it easy. What a hard life you’re pushing through so valiantly. I know this is true, because I’ve heard it all. I’ve heard the complaints, the whining, the “can you believe what they’re doing to us?” whispered at the machine pumping out free lattes.
Don’t take these things for granted. These are perks, not rights. We’re not entitled to any of it. It’s a bonus, a hug, a little extra tongue on the second date. Have you really earned it? Did you create the iPad? Did you find the secret to no-burn cookies? Have you found a way to introduce demographically-targeted birth control so that the affluent neighborhoods are producing more children? No... You haven’t. Remember that the next time you are watching “Rio” from your back as your teeth go 2 shades whiter.
