Craigslist Post Of A Loser's Financial Decisions

This reads like somebody got a hold of some credit cards before the ability to understand "Priority" over "Appearances." The stuff's too current to have been a death, unless the Russian Mafia made a call to the apartment.

HOLARIOUSLY ridiculous:

Estate sale All must go now! (east everett)

65 inch big screen with remote 2004 edition like new (NO WAY IS THIS LCD, ENJOY THE TUBE)
2009 blue pocket rocket mini bike (NECESSARY FOR CLOWN COLLEGE)
NBA hardwood heroes 2005 medallion collection unopened mint (OH GOOD, WE FOUND THE GUY WHO BOUGHT ONE)
2 small IKEA adjustable stools (SKIMPED ON THE STOOLS?)
a easton rampage baseball bat aluminum (USED ONLY TO HIT PINECONES AND M-80'S)
nice sunbeam heater (FOR WHEN THEY SHUT THE GAS OFF)
Gold seiko chronometer watch like new (HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT A CHRONOMETER IS)
a very nice prada handbag like new (SWAP-MEET, ANYBODY?)
air assault rifle with matching air pistol (TO USE FOR CLOWN MOTORCYCLE RIDE-BY STAININGS)
24 car opened hot wheel collection (EITHER A SAD MAN, OR A VERY SAD BOY)
3 differant sets of curtains (EMILE DIFFERANT DESIGNS CURTAINS?)
gameboy sp advance with case and 13 games (I'M THINKING THERE'S NOT A LOT OF SEX HERE)
magellon 40/40 maestro navigation system new and in box (STOLEN FROM WORK)
black leather sofa and love seat (OKAY, THIS VIBE IS OFFICIAL)
576 opened but nice hott wheels (250 cash for all or 1 each) (A COLLEC-TOR!)
JVC home stereo system in rack with digital receiver ,200 disc player,deck,18 speakers including 4 15 inch wooffers with remotes (HEY GUYS, COME OVER AND LOOK AT MY HOTT WHEELSS WHILE WE LISTEN TO SOME GENESIS)
versace 1 0f a kind 24kt gold sunglasses (I SMELL EASTERN BLOC)
matching red chairs from dania (AND DRAKKAR)
a red desk chair (AND CHLOROFORM)
a white computer desk (AND COCAINE)
cafe table with matching barstools (AND AMARETTO)
tons of sports memorabillia, autos,figurines,game worn ,franklin mint ,cartwright collectables etc... (BUT NOTHING FEMALE)
lots of DVDs and CDs (MOSTLY PORN AND PORN SOUNDTRACKS)
lots of valuable books (NOTHING ON FINANCIAL PLANNING)
a color tv with built in dvd player and remote (FOR THE MAN-CAVE COVERED IN HOTT WHILLSS TO WATCH PR0N ON)
black leather recliner (FOR WATCHING PORN IN)
ipod nano cases (iPOD NANO NOT INCLUDED, STOLEN FROM WORK)
JL Audio 500w amp 2 JL Audio Subwoofers in a custom car toys box new with receipts for 1,900. will take best cash offer (TRADED FOR COCAINE)
raingear (FOR OUTDOOR SLEEPING... ON SECOND THOUGHT...)(
a brand new mens leather jacket (OH YEAH, THIS GUY'S SEEN SOME HOMEMADE VODKA HALLUCINATIONS)
franklin mint gold plates shaquell oneal and michael Jordan (SHITTINGS ME YOU MUST)
wood tv cart (TO WHEEL AROUND THE PR0N TV)
Nokia cell phone and charger (FOUND)
a nice boys scooter blue
golf clubs set
6 foot ladder
electric leaf blower (TRADED FOR SOME VITAMIN-K)
Piece of a Barry Bonds home run ball framed (PIECE? GOOD ENOUGH, WHERE DO I PAY?)
a car vac that plugs into you lighter new in box (TO FIND THE COKE IN THE BIMMER)
a auto detailing kit (NEVER GOT THIS BUSINESS OFF THE GROUND)
a vintage celtic jewelry box (YOU KNOW THESE ARE HARD TO FIND THESE DAYS)
much much more
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I am sorry I missed this sale before the "accidental fire."