Conference Cold-Call

I have been applying for jobs recently, doing the best I can to network in my own weird avenues. My networking skills are nearly null because I have a problem of asking for help. It's a man thing, it's a wiring deal in my head where asking for help equates to admitting weakness and defeat. Like saying "Hey, I can find a job where I don't know anyone on my own! I don't need you! (crying) I don't need this hat, or this nametag! (really crying, some snot) I don't even like being a Parking Enforcement Officer!" I guess I don't want to think that I can't do it all on my own. It's much easier with some help, but I don't always ask because I wonder if my asking will be seen as giving up and just hoping on the charity of others.

But I've been doing it more lately. I've been asking people "Hey, I hate to bother you, but I did lend you $50. Can you correlate the formulas on this spreadsheet? Wake up. Can you... wake up." By asking people to help, you may find a fresh perspective, a compatriot, or at the very least and perhaps most valuable, and accomplice. And a few great people have stepped forward to lend a hand, a website, a phone number, and at one point, this advice: "You got something right here, go like this" (flicking nose)

Another recent favorite activity of mine? Telling people "No." As in "I reviewed and studied your request. No. It can't be done. Let me rephrase. It CAN be done. It will cost another $8,000 a year, plus a new laptop, three weeks of DBA training, and... wake up..." Telling people "no" as a means of righteous defense has been exhilirating. When I really need to, I tell someone "no." Why drag out the pain for everyone involved when you can shut it down early? The dragging out is only fun when you're not that into the person you're dating and they're being a putz.

And thusly, I've been slowly building a reputation amongst my new team. The reputation, however, varies. To my co-workers I am "assertive and staunch." To the people who got promoted above me without my input, I am "capable, but sometimes difficult." Being difficult with corporate management means that you're not wagging your tail and saying "Okay, I'll do it!" Bureaucracy has its place. It is a byproduct of one person favors going unpaid for too long. Next thing you know, your request for a report about a team that dropped the ball takes 5 days instead of 30 minutes, because your previous request included the words "And NOW, got it?"

For a long time, the "bosses" around here have had meetings to talk about meetings they should be talking about. When the meeting is over, they call us into meetings to discuss what meetings they've had, and what they discussed. Next, a discussion of what type of meetings would be most helpful to people. My usual response is "fewer, and if that's not possible, none." Oh my, the classics are classic for a reason!

The world has never been conquered in meetings, except for one between Dan 'Larry The Cable Guy' Whitney and some sort of Minion or possibly Underlord. Meetings disrupt the flow. I go with that flow, but the more meetings I have, the more I need in order to figure out what in the hell that last e-mail was referring to. With a subject line of "Meeting Tuesday: For Words The California Blue," I'm bright, but I can't see through "illiterate." Is this a Mars Volta EP? I guess we'll talk it over.

I applied for a position today with a company I've always admired, and they asked for my website address. I included it with my info, knowing full well that a fair amount of my input has referred to a great dislike of my "co-workers," as they are referred to in my handbook of diversities in which to respect. I respect race, creed, color, national origin, and personality. Your sexuality is your own business. Walking around the office while jokingly and loudly singing, I wish were kidding, "The Macarena," well that is MY business. That same person just blurted "No soup for you" and set to laughin', oh just a'LAFFIN'!

So as I network my way into a career where I can grow and flourish and be far away from Sandie and her lack of tact, make-up, and an "indoor voice," I ask that I, too, be respected. I cannot and will not hide from my writing here. I won't censor it or retract it, because it's how I'm feeling when I write it that shows through like Rhandira's software vendor t-shirt under his off-white Oxford button-down, and those kick-ass white socks with almost ankle-reaching slacks. This outlet, there are far fewer people who need to ask me "what I'm thinking" via "meeting." And my writing is a reflection of my mood while working for a company that doesn't need me.

My neighbor just sneezed... with a mouthful of yogurt.

On a more personal note, yesterday felt like a day of clarity. I have been funked for a while, like 2 months, undermotivated, underenthused, under there. Under where? Gotcha!
Calm down, seriously... Something turned on or off yesterday. I feel like a good thing is a-brewin' here. More to come as news and financial windfall warrant.

=================
Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad