First off...
I'd like to apologize to Killorn O'Neill for these false-start blogs that seem to raise her respiratory and refresh rates. It's nice that people want so badly to read blogs of mine that they are taken to commenting on my lack of daily production. I really apologize so very much to anybody who read today's blog, or a blog from earlier this week, that left them empty or wanting more. I promise to do better. Mmkay?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand BLOW ME.
TV's Yule Log: That's right. From 6am-9:30am this Christmas Morn, channel Q-13 (the "Q" stands for "Merry") will broadcast a flaming... heh-heh, I just got that... flaming yule log set to the tune of KING-FM's classical holiday hits. Gather round, all ye, and bask in the plasmatic warmth of a two-dimensional log. If you have not a fireplace available, and want that badly to watch a log on fire, your access to open flame should be denied.
If you go to the Q-13 (the "Q" stands for "Alternative") website there is no mention of the flaming logcast. Oooh, surprise! So the kids who have no Christmas gifts this Saturday don't even get to watch 'toons, they're stuck with a pre-recorded chimney fire. Rad. The "Q" stands for "Meant Well."
Debbie Matenopolous: FIRST, my apologies to Ms. Matenopolous. She was not intentionally the subject of this entry. BUT...
Jillian Barberie: Speaking of flaming logs, this ho-tard is as bothersome as I've encountered on the airwaves. She's got that perma-hoarse, "Oh ma gaw-id!" patois that belies her real talents lie in delivering the news from behind a boob-job and waxed brows. There was a clip from a show last night where a character said he was gonna work his game on Matenopolous, and Jillian jumped in immediately after the clip to say "OH MY GAW-ID, that is SO... HIL-AIR-I-OUuuuusss." Yeah, the retart needs attention. JB, you're on TV, that's enough.
These and other stories as I feel like it:
Two Reasons To Not Watch FOX in the Morning
Recount Chocula
What The Dilly?
Relentless Pursuit of Relaxed Performance
The Law Of Attraction
What To Do When Your TV Bleeds
Childhood Trauma And How To Never Get Over It
Stocking Stuffer Ideas
Take Me Home
My Non-Funny Blog.
Geoff Lott: Comedian, Writer, Philosoteur. I am here to amuse you, not entertain you. If not now, later. If not you, somebody else. If you can't laugh at yourself, that's just fine, too. I will do it for you.
1 comment:
I do not like this current trend of bookmarking your blogs with teasers. It gets me all heart palpy and sweaty palmed for NOTHIN. There's only so many times I can refresh a page.
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