What You Are Laughing At

Right About Now, The Funk Soul Bruva
I have a gig tonight for a Lexus dealership that I'm sure I'm being paid WAY under the MSRP for. I didn't book it, I agreed to do the show. But it's pocket-style change and I get to slyly make fun of Car Sales-holes for 30 minutes. Mostly I'll be making fun of myself and my place in the world, but I'll let them know they're still just a notch or two above lawyers. Besides, Lexus paid however much for two guys they've never heard of to tell them jokes they won't remember at a moderately nice hotel. Lexus needs a Knute Rockne, not a c*ck joke.

My work laptop has been booting up for just under 23 minutes now. "The fastest wireless data network, ever." My cellphone could log in to the system faster than my Dell WheelChockXR9. Say it with me... "PILE OF SHIIIIIIaaaving cream." Dude, where's my job? India? Dhangh.

Epiphany this morning. Not going to divulge the what & such of it, but I feel like a weight was simultaneously ("at the same time," for the King Of Queens fans) taken from my shoulders and then wrapped 'round me heart. I think it's this feeling that pressed-forth the saying "Ignorance is Bliss." It was either this feeling or somebody who caught their grandma comin' out the pond after a skinny dippin'.
Oh lord, did anybody else just throw up a little?

Most Americans Oppose Gay Marriage. They're all for Gay Marriage, but not if they're gonna do all that gay stuff, like gay off with gays and totally gay up their gay parties. While America has a veritable Krystle vs. Alexis Carrington over whether or not people of the same sex should be allowed to have the same rights as a serial inseminator with a penchant for bathtub crank and fishin' shows, there's a cave full of Yankee Haters in the Middle Earth planning their next move. Let's get the Department for HomoLand Security on this right away. Do we have a surplus of love we're trying to trim down lately? I judge people on what they do. They're here, they're queer, I'm used to it, and now it's their turn to buy a round, and NOBODY leaves the bar before buying a round.
If you're that deeply affected by somebody you don't know doing something you never see in place you've never heard of, you're either psychic, psychotic, or a Falwell. Hey, let's have a sit-down and we can talk a bit. Give me directions to your glass house, I'll bring tea and some Windex and my friend Maurice to redecorate.

Can't Buy Me Love. Underappreciated? Come on... Ronald McDonald Miller's "African Anteater Ritual" is classic, no? "Aaaw, he must be in Special Ed." The best slow-clap of all time after Kenneth and Ron... I'm done, you can't follow this, I'm done with you.
What about Kenneth crying in the arcade after throwing Ronald into the Galaga machine because Ronald "sh*t on (his) house, man. You sh*t on my house."

So far, so what.
Geoff Lott... yeah, do something.


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