What You Are Laughing At

A guy asked me why I was taking the stairs this morning. I couldn’t tell him the truth, which was, even though he had an elevator waiting, I really couldn’t stand to talk to him for 30 seconds as my first human interaction of the day.
Idiot: “Yeah, so the contingency for the roll-out is in effect and now everybody’s depressed. How’s your morning?”
G-off: ”I should have been in Olympia last night, and now I’m hoping to just make it through the morning without a felony arrest or hallucinogenics. Nice sweater, is that HyperColor?”
I fibbed a little and told him I always take the stairs. I didn’t tell him it helps with a hangover.

“Personality” Out The Wazzu

Last night I was chatting away with M, who is the cat’s jammies, and we started talking about personality. I mentioned that I had once met somebody who didn’t have any personality, just kind of a Being and not really an Entity. I don’t work well with those kind of people. I’m far too extroverted to have a speedbump of a human being sitting there in my road to Funberg. So as we’re chatting away M, who is all killer and no filler, mentioned “well, personality can mean a lot of things.” True dat.
Personality I suppose can be negative, not just a person’s ebullient jocularity. A Personality is a ToyChest of Moods and Moments, and together they create either one Personality, or if you’re really smart, you channel another personality, call it “CrinkleFry, the 4,000 Year Old Mystic Weasel,” and bilk $5,000 weekends out of saps looking for a Higher Calling. Your Person-ality is the Outward expression of your experiences in life. Some people have a bright Personality, and some people are just, well, hungover today.
Moods are like the weather. It’s different with anyone, and some people become less like Weather and more like Climates when they’re together. Sun can be happy as much as it can be overbearing. Rain can be drowning as much as it can be helpful to growth. Some rain, some sun, and things grow. Rain, rain, rain, and your prize pumpkin ain’t gonna grow and all your best shirts get mildew and then the umbrellas come out. Too much sun and you scorch things and cause tumors, and then we wear sunscreen and can’t stand to be in it for too long.
The key is to be balanced. Not too much Rain, not too much Sun, not too much Wind, not too much Cold. If you can temper your Rain with some warmth, it’s a little more tolerable. If you can shine some Sun and have a few clouds, people won’t get burned out. If you can throw a little Sunbreak into your Cold days, people take notice and make sure they give your Carpenter’s CDs back sooner. Just ask anybody who lives in Seattle. Basically you can’t predict anybody’s Personality, no matter how many radars and experts you have trained on them.
As I write this, there’s a heavy rain being blown into the windows of this building. I know M, who isn’t taking any of your shine-ola Buster, is in the middle of this deluge, and that has a dampening effect my mood.
The preceding message was brought to you by AntiDepressants: AntiDepressants don’t kill people, untreated psychiatric disorders and God-Complex Doctors, among other things, kill people.


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