Once and for all, I'm asking you to tell me if I am being a flaming a-hole.
Seriously.
Yes, You, oh literate and fantastic in those pants Reader. Am I purporting myself in the style of a butt's hole lately? I ask because I've had some really odd interactions with others in the recent days, and I wonder if I'm putting off a stink of some sort.
My first one was with an elderly lady who cut in line at the drug store. (again, I give no props here unless, sponsored, but figurative Cleveland Steamers come free) She shuffled ahead of me, as I was 4th in line, and she wanted to be 4th, apparently. She seemed to be moving much more slowly than previously when I saw her in the store, but I figured it was just the passing of a kidney or past the time she usually stares out the window and reminisces. But for whatever reason, she was at the druggist at 6pm on a Tuesday.
At the same time, I cleared my throat, but only because I had to clear it, not because I wanted to draw attention to the fact that she, being elderly, was not allowed to just CUT in line. Instead, I figured if she'd asked nicely I would have considered giving her the spot before telling her to beat it. But she took, and I was probably just choking on the words to right the situation.
A small blip in my head went off, and I thought "What's the harm? Honestly? None. Zero. Nothing. Let it go." And in that moment, I breathed deeply, exhaled slowly, and I Let It Go. I felt peace. I felt At Peace. I found Zen. There was no harm. No resistance. I made my purchase, paid with cash, and walked out with my Crosswords and my Riesen Chocolate Chews, and felt good about it.
As I stepped outside, I heard "Hey prick. Yeah YOU."
I turn around to see the old lady glaring at me, finger pointing.
"What's with all the huffing and puffing? Whaddya gonna do? Tell on me?"
I replied with "No, I just took a deep breath and let go of the fact that you cut in line."
"Oh did you? Must make you feel pretty big, huh?"
"No, I just... you're crazy."
"Yeah, I'm crazy like a fox, jerk!"
Next time you see an old person at the front of line acting confused, remember that it's hard getting older, but you don't have to suffer alone.
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Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Geoff Lott: Comedian, Writer, Philosoteur. I am here to amuse you, not entertain you. If not now, later. If not you, somebody else. If you can't laugh at yourself, that's just fine, too. I will do it for you.
3 comments:
I have always thought you were a pain in the ass from the day you were born. I am glad you are my brother, but you are still a "Poop-dummy plubbbbthp!"
"Clearly you can see the old mans' nuts"
Nah, I think the whole engagement thing has softened you way too much.
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