New Orleans is evacuated for hurricane Katrina.
The MTV Video Music Awards still has yet to be rained out, or even so much as yelled at for its opulence. The band or singer in the video is given a trophy if the video they were lip-synching one of their songs in is deemed the best in its category. The very thing that makes a band most-famous (Lip Synching) among the teens (legally protected as "people") most likely to spend their parent's money on the computer that downloads the song By Those One Guy-uhs, is then ridiculed for using a backing track in live performances.
The band is out of their element in a live show. The band can only rock in a very small room with a bare lightbulb suspended from the ceiling, or staring directly into a camera from a stark white room, or in the cul-de-sassy surrounded by roughly 58 metric tons of phat ass and/or costume jew'ry teefus. Green Day, the band, was awarded a trophy for Best Direction of their video "Tolerable Rock Tune 55." They also picked up awards for Editing and Cinematography. The bassist, Mike Dirnt, which if you say it loud enough sounds like a car wreck or the last two notes of a good rock song (MIKE Dirnt), has a lazy eye. What graphing did he cinemato? Is Billie Joe's editing ability rivaled only by Tony "Free Cheese" Moser's?
A lot of bands have been influenced by Green Day. Good or bad, you decide. At least we're not sitting here saying "A lot of bands have been influenced by Hootie And The Blowfish." Not even HATB were that influenced by HATB.
Kanye West is talented. Ludacris is good at marketing. Jamie Foxx loves everything that Jamie Foxx does. Paris Hilton is still Biblically clueless, talentless, and fooling everyone that she is clueless, which is her talent. Hillary Duff is irrelevant, but she doesn't know that. Clay Aiken is where? Lindsay Lohan had her boobs removed, but she doesn't know that.
And now gas prices are going up AGAIN because Hurricane MaryKate is drilling America's choad, and that choad holds black gold. What can you do?
Well, for one, fill up, and take the F off. The price is what they suggest you pay, IF you pay. Hey, download your gas and get the F out of there.
Goodbye, New Orleans. Thanks for the beads.
And goodbye, MTV. Thanks for not giving Suge Knight's security detail to Carson Daly.
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad
Geoff Lott: Comedian, Writer, Philosoteur. I am here to amuse you, not entertain you. If not now, later. If not you, somebody else. If you can't laugh at yourself, that's just fine, too. I will do it for you.
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