Stuck In The Middle With Poo

(Geoffrey Lott will not be able to blog anything on Friday, November 12th. He had a horrific accident on Nov. 11th in Everett, WA, wherein his material self-destructed on the 3rd floor of what was once a Masonic temple. His wounds are healing nicely, and he should be able to return to blogging and general ignorance within the next few days.
Blogging in his stead is Dickie Hormunkel, a childhood acquaintance of Geoff's who would like, some day, to realize his life-long dream of becoming the guy who puts raspberry preserves in the scones at fairs.)
no this is bold

I'm supposed to be typing something for Geoff to put on the internet. He wanted me to talk or type about what happened last night in his skit. He's usually a funny dude, always has been, even when he has us convinced as kids that he could talk to animals. Turns out we can ALL talk to animals, but they can't understand us. I didn't realize that until I got kicked right in my balls at the fair last year. I don't work at the fair but they let me in and I hang around to find out what people do when the fair is not as busy. They do not do much there at the fair when nobody is there. So do not worry, you aren't missing anything at the fair when you are not there.

Last night I was at Everett and Geoff was doing a show at a place that used to be a church or something. He said there was a pinagram or pentacle on stage or something and a large red stain in the middle of it. I didn't see it. He didn't see me until after all the bad stuff happened. It wasn't bad, really, but he wasn't funny. I think the forces of darkness attempted to bend sidelong the will of Sir Geoffrey of Lott, yet he resisted. I really get into mid-evil stories about times of knights. I'm not sure how that's spelled. The first guy on stage didn't talk for very long, and the people did not laugh much.

Geoff came on stage and just talked for a few minutes about the pentacle on the stage and everyone thought it was funny. He also mentioned Judas Priest and Cannibal Corpse, the second and fourth best bands of all time. First is Ozzy, he's the best band ever. I like his show when he doesn't talk very well, it's hard to understand English sometimes, especially when it's with an accent. SHAROOON! After a while, Geoff did not make many people laugh, but he was up there for about a half hour.

The next guy screamed a lot at Geoff when he was on-stage. Calling people names is pretty friggin' lame, especially in a place like Everett with not a lot of people watching. I can't really tell you the words the guy said, but I heard him apologize to Geoff afterwards. Geoff laughed at the guy when he was yelling at him. If you're going to be that loud on a stage, I think it's better if you just stay that loud all the time. I guess this was not really a comedy show, anyway. They used to do masonry at the building or something. It had bricks, that's what masonry does.

Geoff told me after his skit that he did not like his time at all. He had a few parts where everyone was really laughing, but I don't think those were jokes he made, he was just being funny. Right before Geoff's notebook started on fire, that was really weird, he told me that he didn't let go of his material and be funny enough. Something like "Everett is what it is, but I, Geoff not me, want to make everybody laugh every time with my own original self, that's what a comedian does." It was like that. I was 4 beers into the night, plus I have to take these pills for my foot that I hurt at the fair when I fell after getting kicked in the balls, and the other pills I take so everything isn't talking to me when I try and sleep.

Geoff's going to be fine, I think he'll be funnier and better because he went to Everett and did not do very good. You can't go forwards without going backwards sometimes. Willy Wonka said that. It doesn't make crap of sense, but hey, the guy has a factory of candy. He can do whatever he wants in my book. It's foggy out today.

So take a second and remember that Veterans of the United States Armed Forces once fought and died for our freedoms. They are but soldiers sent forth to follow orders in the name of Freedom and the Light of Liberty. My brother was in the Marines for a while but got sent home because he fell on his gun and tore his intestines. So don't try to drink 9 beers and balance like Superman on your gun. There is more honor to the US of A than that.

Do I stop now?==
Take Me Home

My Non-Funny Blog.