Here's a joke I did this past weekend that each crowd groaned on.
"I enjoy my status in life, every now and again being treated to a dinner of exotic foods. Tonight we sat down to eat and had, let's see, Crab-stuffed Lobster Tail... then we had Veal-stuffed Lamb-shank, and for dessert we ate a black baby."
People groaned for one reason only.
They thought the baby was ALIVE. NO NO NO. It was dead, unlike those monkies whose brains are eaten while they kick away under the table.
I was upset they groaned, because they didn't even seem to register that I had never eaten a black baby before. Not that I particulary enjoy the dessert baby, but perhaps it was that I was eating a baby with dark skin, which would make them racist to think THAT is why I ordered that child. I did NOT. I have eaten babies of all ethnicites in the past, really mowed through them at all hours of the night. How come nobody groaned about the Caucasian shorty? What of the Laotian infant who met it's fate in the winter of '97? Succulent, yet not sympathized over. That crowd was racist.
I also snuck the word "wigger" in, but shyed away from material on "fisting," "anality," or "religion."
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Take Me Home
My Non-Funny Blog.
Geoff Lott: Comedian, Writer, Philosoteur. I am here to amuse you, not entertain you. If not now, later. If not you, somebody else. If you can't laugh at yourself, that's just fine, too. I will do it for you.
8 comments:
Wait a second, a crowd member wasn't listening? How can this be?
Not out of a job yet. There are a many more steps, including those over the bodies of the drama queens throwing themselves upon the wall-to-wall in fears of showing up tomorrow and not having a job. We're all gonna be fine.
I, for one, read your joke here at work and laughed out loud. I'm sure I will groan later when I realize your blatent racism, but for now... funny. Although, if I could offer my (non)comedic advice here... might it be funnier if it was a rape victim's baby? Hmmm? Think about it...
Wait a secon'... Meghan Hounshell reads this? Oh crap, I would have been working harder if I'd know she was checking... sheeiiiit, I'm off my game. I'll straighten it out.
It's not a racist joke, my friends. I mention race, which is not racist, per se, but is surely race-conscious, which I am. I have a knack for telling when someone is of African descent, especially if they are blacker than the last banana.
Hey everyone! PEEL THAT AND SPLIT IT.
I'll have you know that I don't fail to see the irony in this situation. You made a joke which is CLEARLY not racist and felt compelled to blog about just how non-racist the joke is. I made a joke on your blog implying that your clearly non-racist joke is indeed racist, compelling you to once again explain that the clearly non-racist joke is indeed non-racist. Thus, continuing the cycle wherein in I now have to explain that I was just joking about your clearly non-racist joke being racist. Henceforth, I can only hope that in the future, we will once again live in an America where ALL jokes are created equally racist.
You're missing the point. You must have missed a comedy class.
I know that you know that it's not racist, because we both know that racism is all in the intent, not the word. How can a word be racist? Your interpretation of unracism is true. It's just a straight-forward joke in which the baby happens to be black, but it's shocking because of how difficult it can be to find a baby who is also a menu item. Black babies, while short in stature, are not short in supply.
LOOK IT UP, simply stating a fact.
And Meghan, you know how I am when it comes to people of other races. Some of my favorite stereotypes are about them.
Malik and I thought it was hyterical.
apparently blogger doesn't allow tags in comments, which is annoying, because I really think it drives the hilarity of my message home.
You will have to go here to have the message driven home.
Oh sure, but ain't nobody waving hands in the air over "wigger." Cuz ya just don't care.
All I'm saying is that I don't care WHAT color they are, babies are assholes.
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