What You Are Laughing At

A Weekend of a Weak Week

Yo. Whaddup? Thanks fer readin'.
This past week was really odd. I'm at a point in my life where I feel ready for the next stones to be stepped on. I am not talking about "okay, new job, new place to live, yay." I am fogging up the windows of The Big Break mansion, I want to live in the kingdom of the Fortunate.

Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. The first man to say this was then shot by the guys he'd just broke at a poker table. But it's true. I believe we make our own luck. The "cosmic forces" at work put things in order, and if you're open to them you will find them at the right times of your life. If we all have that luck waiting for us, then how would I explain homeless people?
Like this: Without homes or continuous resources of hygiene.
Nah, more like this: Making choices in your life leads you to the next step. Good choices keep your mind and heart open to more good things. Bad choices cloud your judgment and your view of yourself, either through tears of sadness or tears of pepper spray, so maybe you think you're not worth anything, you're no good, you won't ever win a comedy competition, whatever it is for YOU, not me, I'm not talking about me.
I'm not.
Now I am. Yes, I'm looking to move along here. For me, not for the happiness of anybody else. At the end of the day, it's just me, and maybe a kimono-wearing animatronic Koala... cute, huh? How will I do this, make this next step?
First of all, weigh my options. What's heaviest? What will yield the greatest rewards, financial, personal, intellectual, culinary, technical, physical, granular, dairy-like, and/or follicular? What is really best for me? Incorporating the 80/20 rule, if a decision benefits me in 80% of the instances, I should go for it. On the backside, things are going to work out, because nothing is ever perfect, and the imperfections are overcome by your skill and want to grow, adapt, and be pitied and given free stuff. And then the other 20% will either be overcome or cause me a wretched stomach ache of regret, if I'm not an emotionally and spiritually steadfast person, or at least really stinkin' rich.
I think God thinks I'm going to be an asshole if I get rich, and God doesn't want me to become an asshole. All I can say is that not being rich is WAY played, big G, so throw me a little green, and I'll prove that I'm thankful by erecting a golden statue of, who, ME! But I'll at LEAST be wearing a T-Shirt that says "Jesus Is My Homeboy."
Second, in weighing my options for "what's next," I have to assess my skills. I am of the mind that I can do anything well, and a few things REALLY well, and maybe three things so deftly that even the experts call it sublime. One of these skills is illegal in Utah, even between consenting farm animals, so I'll call it TWO things I do really well. Know Thy Self. I am WAY into Self Actualization, (for the Mazlow's Hierarchy devotees), to find the maximum Me that's in here. So get the fear of success out of the way, and the next thing you know, you're sitting across a boardroom table with a schiddy comb-over looking into a TV Camera saying "You're Fired... Up For Insurance Savings With Vern Fonk!" See, I could totally work for an ad agency. Or a pharmaceutical company. Mostly I need to feed my worksoul a little bit. I know what I can do. It's diverse, as long as I'm not working with total f*cking idiots. GAWD, dumb people ruin EVERYTHING in this world. It's a sad fact that some lives are ended before they really start, and some aren't.
Oh, and I just heard this on the TV... "How do improve a Toilet Brush?" Uh, give it to your butler? YEAH, you gots a butler, bee-atch, all things just keep getting better!

I have enough thoughts to fill a Cure fan's empty soul. So now I must go.
You take care. Come see me on stage. I miss you.

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