What You Are Laughing At

Back At It, etc.

A lot has happened since my last blog. I took a trip to Las Vegas, the company I work for was purchased, I finished "The Da Vinci Code," and my new bedroom furniture arrived! That’s quite a bit of news for 4 days. I won’t go over all of those things in detail (see previous blog), so here’s a synopsis of things:

AT&T Wireless is being purchased by Cingular for $41,000,000,000.00. That’s $15 per share of stock, buying every last one. The stock was around $5 a year ago. The CEO of ATTWS, John Zeglis, will be out once Cingular takes over. He will receive about $9,000,000 in severance pay. (ed. note: The New American Dream: Better retirement through underachieving?)

Read “The Da Vinci Code” if you have any interest in politico-religious fireworks, art history, the Knights Templar, the Louvre, Leonardo Da Vinci’s subtle story-telling works, or romantic tension. It’s like “Indiana Jones” meets “The Thomas Crown Affair.” Buy this book, not the audio version.

I got new bedroom furniture. Real stuff, none of that particle-board and four-nail construction bull. I deserved it, I wanted it, I bought it. Over the years I’ve plunked a good $700 + for the Scandi-naïve-ian furniture that is touted by a plucky ice-fisherman on vacation from herring round-up. Of all that I purchased, I believe I still hold about $150 of all I spent, $50 of which will soon be donated, if they’d even take the pile.

Oh, and apparently Hollywood is still letting Meg Ryan and Adam Sandler make movies. I won’t listen to a single political slant from the Hollywood contingent until I get a public apology for Carson Daly, “Howard the Duck,” and the lack of a Monk marathon on USA.

Las Vegas was fun, but it’s the middle of February so it wasn’t exactly worthy of calling a lawyer before blogging the news. I’m not one who usually goes for opulence, but as I was passing the 400th stripper-card solicitor I remembered that this really is America. Las Vegas is a microcosm of everything America stands for. Some people hate America because of places like Las Vegas. I feel they hate America in spite of places like Las Vegas. Las Vegas is there to entertain you. If New York is the City That Never Sleeps, Las Vegas is The City That Doesn't Care. It's all there for your taking, if you reach out and grab a tassle or a buffet plate. You give a little, you get a lot. You pay $90 for a ticket to see “O,” and you get about a $200 show. If you can’t find something to do there, you’re too picky. You should stay home and re-organize your coupon box or clip frayed strings off your undergarments, which are probably white, cotton, and stop just above your navel.

Kanye West is gettin’ mad love from the streets right now. ‘ats all you need ta know!

I can’t figure it all out tonight, sir, I think I’m just gonna date your daughter.

~G