Your Dog Is Puny

Every now and again, a genetic mutation works out FOR the gene's mutated carrier. We're all mutations, slight changes and combinations of other genes being stirred together and baked at 98.6 degrees for 9-ish months. Not all of us had proper time to cool on the counter before being served, some didn't rise, some fell in the transfer from all the loud noise or humidity or cigarettes.

But we're starting to see a NEW type of mutation called "hypermuscularity." It's a mutation that leads to natural hypertrophy of skeletal muscles or "meat piece." Usually it's a gene that suppresses MYOSTATIN, a growth-factor thingy that keeps a body from getting too muscular. If you are TOO muscular, you wouldn't really be as attractive as you think you would be, not even for a bouncer.

Three observations on this:
1) At some point in the genetic sifting of humans, there were SOME humanoids who were freakishly muscular and probably didn't live very long. They were more meat than they needed to be, and Living demands a balanced approach in all things. These were considered the first professional wrestlers.

2) The Dietary Supplement industry wants to harness this gene suppression ability, so that they could sell that magic "muscle-stacking" bullet. Much like real bullets, something like that cannot be trusted in the hands of the general public. It should be reserved for people with muscle-wasting diseases or brain-wasting diseases, like professional baseball players.

3) If you were to see an animal with this suppression going on, how would you know? Well, you would simply mutter "HOLY SHIT." If you think NOT, check out THIS ARTICLE, about a whippet with this suppression in action. Whippets are normally long, lean, racing dogs. This one looks like it's ready to engage in cage wrestling with a bison.

Only part of me wants to be that muscular. The other part of me just wants to be a dog.

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