Work It Out; P90X Review

I bought the P90X system a while ago. It was my intent to dedicate myself to every aspect of the fitness program in order to achieve the sexiest body I possibly could. Because that’s important. Being sexy is important. It says so on the TV. Sexy, you’re not enough of it. Get more of it in 90 Days!

The cost isn’t too crazy compared to what you’d spend on a membership sign-up fee at a gym that has good equipment, sexy people, and middle-aged immigrants working out in their jeans and khakis. And you would get to smell other people’s sweat and body odor. I remember one guy at the last gym I was a member of, he did a lot of indoor tanning and often smelled like a burnt blackberry. This is all missing from the P90X experience.

The upside of P90X is that you will get your money’s worth if you want a challenging system of workouts. You’ll get in shape quickly and notice within a week some changes to your physique. If you follow the nutrition plan (80% of your success comes from this) you are well on your way to the sexy physique of your dreams of sexiness. This is a Full Fitness System, and the only thing you need to bring to it is about an hour a day, and the right attitude. Because you’re gonna work your ass off if you’re ready.

What it did for me:
Weightloss – No. My weight stayed steady for 60 days, and after that much time I said "F it." It fluctuated 2lbs up & down during a week. I did not perfectly follow the nutrition plan because, like most plans, it would require about an hour of food preparation a day. I did drop my bodyfat percentage about 3%. Certain areas feel sexier than others. I went back to the Turbulence Training, short, intense workouts.
Muscling Up – Yes. I got stronger and packed on some muscle, in my arms and back especially. Moderate weightloss makes you look more muscular, but I am positive I got stronger in some areas.
Fitness Level – Upped it. Cardio wise, jumping ability from plyometrics, flexibility. I’m in better shape. But not looking at that 7% bodyfat you see on the commercials.

PROS:
Muscle Confusion = Diversity of workouts – The workouts change daily and monthly. You skip the plateau periods, each session is mapped out for you, and you do a week of lighter workouts each month to “rest.” And the focus of each day’s workout changes, one day it’s Resistance, the next day it’s more Cardio based. You won’t get bored on your way to being sexier.

Intensity = Results – Each workout is about an hour long and if you hang in there you will really get your money’s worth out of it. You never feel like you’re not working enough. But you have to incorporate the mindset of INTENSITY to really achieve results. Don’t buy if you won’t try to get sexy.

Goal-based Combinations – If you’d rather just get leaner than beefier, there are a couple of combinations layed-out in the guides to get you there. If you want to really cut up and boost muscle while burning calories with cardio, there’s a combo for that, also. You define sexy, and go there.

CONS:
Time Commitment – Each workout is about an hour from warm-up to workout to cool-down. Yoga is about 90minutes. These would be shorter if Horton wouldn’t be talking the entire time in between sets and hawking other products, but hey, it’s part of the gig for getting sexy.

Intensity – That is, these workouts can be monsters. The phrase in the system is to “Do Your Best, Forget the Rest.” The best you can do is get in and start going the best you can. Sexy awaits. The people working out in the videos are all P90X graduates, and in great shape. If you’re not a real self-starter, forget it.

Extras – You don’t NEED a lot of extra stuff to work out with. But for the ultimate sexiness, you would need a chin-up bar and varied weights of dumbbells. They walk you through the variations you can do with the resistance bands. It can be discouraging to not have all the bells & whistles, but do the best you can.

If you have 6-8 hours a week to work out, get P90X. You can likely get free shipping and return it if you need to. It’s an ass-kicker, but like any workout sexy system, your results depend on your dedication and ability to listen to Tony Horton yap for an hour a day.

===================
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

Eating Out: 2nd Hand Canlis

I've eaten at Canlis ONE TIME. It was ethereal. It is the Highest of Classes. It is expensive. It is worth it. Every moment from the valet to the final check to walking out with most of your understuff not exposed, worth every bit of the $190 I spent on appetizers.

Kidding. They don't have "appetizers," dirtload. Frigging great food. They do a few things and they do each of them perfectly +2 (including "surprise" and "butter.").

We have a "dress code" where I am consulting.
It basically can be summed up in these words:
"Don't wear jeans before Friday."

Not $180 jeans. Not $20 jeans. Not well-washed, properly-fit-to-flatter jeans. Not baggy jeans wit' yo ayass hanging 'bove da sagg. Nuh-uh. No jeans.

Cargo pants? Sure.
Luau shirt? Aloha.
Smell like a batting helmet? No problem.
Khakis that upon closer-look are denim? Okay, nobody's gonna tattle.
Utili-kilt? Evenutally I will find out.
Utility camping pants that zip-off above the knee to become shorts? YES.

This last choice was made by a guy who works as a database blah-blah and wears his beard and hair "unkempt." Skullet to a ponytail. Long beard. Usually eating loudly somewhere. Grumpy. In pants that could zzzzzoooooooeeep! into a pair of pasty leg-baring shorts in a heartbeat.

Long story short, the eye-test doesn't show him to be somebody who would saddle up at a 4-star restaurant long-known as THE 4-Star in Seattle (up there with Rover's) and settle into a well-versed meal. Yet he DID that over the weekend. Then walked around complaining to people all day about how expensive it is. And the service was bad. And how he felt uncomfortable.

You dine. You do not EAT. There is no GORGING. You ask for a wine suggestion if you're not sure. You don't point to the cheapest and say "THAT."

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him understand that not all horses should be drinking at that particular trough. High prices keep the riff-raff out. I'm sure a pair of well-pleated khakis and a shirt with long sleeves was in order. Now damnit, bring me my cheese stix.
I've been there. I knew what to expect. And I was half this guy's age. Sounds like he wasted his time and money. Next time, zip those pantlegs off and get you some food on a stick. Leave the dining to those who'd rather not see your skullet.

=====================================
Take Me Home
My Blog About My Dad


MC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

On Getting Older

While I've been rising before 6:30 every morning since last Friday, OOOOH!, I have been getting to sleep later than I ought to. Not tonight, friend. I'll be off to bed by 9:30pm because my son has exactly NO SENSE of time, nor that he should sleep more than 107minutes at a stretch.

And before my carriage takes to slumber 'pon sheets of Voltron so brave, I will have excitedly brushed with a BRAND NEW TOOTH'S BRUSH! I can't tell you how excited I am about it, because I'm not that big of a nerd.

Colgate 360 Deep Clean!

But you can tell, huh? Excitement? Nerd? Tongue Brush? Yes, Yes, and You Bet Your Clean, Gluten-Free Ass.

OF COURSE a review will follow! Stay riveted...

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad

Eatin' Out - BrownBag Café - Not a Frittata

Kirkland's famous - and famously packed - BrownBag Cafe is a hub of breakfast dining. Breakfast is served while it's open, which is for the daylight hours. They have SUPERIOR baked items, using their breads, rolls, cinnamon rolls, etc. in each of their dishes that call for it.

But something's seriously awry with their egg maker.
Seriously.

Today we went in for some late fastbreaking. Parking lot crammed-packed like The King's death colon. But worse. The next-door Shari's must feel like a blind spot. But it likely gets overflow from those who won't wait the 20+min for BrownBag's deliciousness...

But today... oh boy... uh...
Yeah, I try and get lowest-carb that I can, when I can. Higher protein, throw in some veggies and I'm happy. Intrigued by the Tomato& Avocado Frittata, I steered from my craving for the Fruit Omelet. Don't cuss it down, the Fruit Omelet is a sweet, savory egg party I'm all-for. But I was dumb and listened to my wife about what SHE wanted to try some of, and got the Frittata, which still sounded good.

It wasn't. A Frittata looks like this:
Heat the ingredients, throw the eggs in with those, stir a little, top with cheese, broil, BOOM...

FRITTATA

I was handed a scrambled egg topped with 1/4 a sliced avocado on top of enough room-temperature 1/4-inch-diced tomatoes to start a street-fair Salsa Kiosk. There may have been some dill havarti wiped on it, also. This is a VERY simple dish to create, and apparently, get wrong with a lazy sous chef in a hopping kitchen.

Thumbs-up for the BrownBag Cafe. They have great food, 95% of the time. Not everything's gonna be a home run, fair enough.
Stay away from any Frittata. Omelets rule (Fruit, or Spinach-Bacon-Mushroom).

And, as a man, I'd like to thank whomever is hiring the serving staff.

Still no excuse for F'ing the Frittata. NADA FRITTATA, just food pile.

My wife took one bite and said "Eh, you're right, there's nothing there." Oh good. It's nice to know we can agree that I got breakfast-screwed.

Tomato-Avocado Frittata = No.

2008 - The Year It Began To Start To Get Different Again

What a Year. 2008, wow. Everything changed this year. I've recapped a lot throughout this blog, so I'm not gonna try and get every little detail, but I'll hit some high-points and see who gets upset over things that were intended to be offensive and came across as "funny."

1. BLACK PRESIDENT! There ya go. We have a fantastic President Elect in Barack Obama. I don't really care about the color of his skin as much as the content of his cabinet. The state of this nation - greed-fisted into a shame spiral and geographically and emotionally entrenched in two foreign occupations via military - can be rejuvenated. Obama's the man to lead us. But seriously, a national income tax, on top of taxes for homes, property, goods, services, and food? Fist that. What a fistful of hate-farts.
   
2. DREAM-MAKING! Whenever somebody I meet in the comedy world states "I quit my job to do comedy," I ask them what they did for a living. They say "Oh, I was answering phones at this company..." or "I was a manager at a shoe store" or some-such. THAT is not job-quitting. That is "I didn't show up for my shift so I could stay up later and smoke/drink/try-for-more-ass." I quit a career in IT where I was making phat money, because my heart was elsewhere. I listen(ed) to the voice in my heart/gut that said "Go, I'll take care of you," and my wife totally called my bluff. Just tell folks you're out there making your dream happen; don't marginalize your run-up to it by inching around the fact you were no good on the grill. The Grill will be waiting.
   
3. Gerry Lott (1943-2008)! My dear dad, Gerry Lott, passed away on November 16th. He had battled Dementia and all that it did to him for about 5 years, that we know of. The years prior to that, however, were lived the way that culminated in the type of memories and sentiments most people would choose to have spoken of them. How? Because my dad loved Life. He embraced the struggle of being Human, in that we all shared it, and in that he found compassion for others. He encouraged, cared, befriended, hugged, loved, laughed, danced, sang, joked, taught, learned, cried, and Had Faith in every bit of it. It's not easy. But he did it right. I have missed him for years. I will love him always. And I only slotted him at #3 because of his modesty.
4. UW GOES WINLESS! The winless, 12-loss, ironically-named Tye Willingham uncoached my alma mater through 12 games without a win. Being a stoic, fridgid, unable to win a football game-like coach doesn't help a damn thing when you start throwing 19 year-old players under the bus. When they all make the same mistakes, that is a COACHING error. We get a new coaching staff, a new lease on football life, and hopefully a 6-win, low-tier bowl next year. If we do, you read it here first, I will get a "W" tattoo on my body somewhere.
   
5. WEIGHTGAIN! Son of a ... after getting down around 223 earlier this year, I'm again in the high 230s, thanks to the last 6 weeks of my life. Between my dad's services and 10 days in Las Vegas and the Holidays, I gots work to do. I now believe that most of the "diets" pushed by a lot of the men's fitness mags are there to keep weight on you, and buying their magazine. If you don't believe me, try the "PeanutButter FudgeSteak" diet and see for your fat self.
6. Mixed Martial Arts! Most of us know this as the UFC. There are organizations world-wide, however, many of them better than UFC. Most of the fighters are college-educated athletes with backgrounds in wrestling, Muay Thai kickboxing, and minor buffoonery. It's taken off to a new level this year, and with any luck, will cause numerous meat-heads to punch each other in the face while waiting in line for the bathroom at a bar.
   
7. FACEBOOK! It has surpassed MySplorch in terms of usability and intelligent networking, but not for self-promotion... yet.
   
8. GREED! Who didn't get this ass-chomp of a reality check this year? Car makers, home-owners who didn't handle their finances, banks going in the shit-chewer, politicians being voted out, Big Oil, Governor Blabonovich, EVERYBODY who went for the Bad Green got face-corned this year. I love it. It will turn around soon. But that was the shakedown, so I hope we are all paying attention.

Go get yours.

Happy New Year!
There's mass more but I have to go now.

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad

"BABY MAMA" is A Crowning Achievement

Last night I got home to find my wife having ordered a movie OnDemand, as it was a relatively slow evening in the later hours. I had gone out to a show to see a buddy of mine here, and met with other Seattle-ite comics, whom I think are more than ready to make funny here in LA. That's for another time.

So, Wife ordered "Baby Mama," starring the foolproof duo of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler (Pee-oh-el-ee-r, I think. No, "Peeler," okay). Synopsis of the movie is that Kate Holbrook (Tina's character) is ready to have a baby, but can't, because she's got a problem with having a baby. I don't want to give too much away here. (She may have been born a dude, they don't really explore that much in the film, but it would have made Tina Fey even hotter). So she enlists Angie Ostrowski (Amy Poehler's character) to carry the baby inside her (Angie's) uterine walls, played by Utris Jackson (former all-conference forward at North Texas A&M, 1993). In some circles this is called "Surrogate Mothering" or "The Rosie O'Donnell Method."

I, frankly, barf OnDemand when I smell a romantic comedy. Or anything "precious" in a movie, where it's obvious they're pulling at your heartstrings instead of being able to close a scene properly. This is not a romantic comedy, if that's what you're looking for. There's a romantic element to it, where Greg Kinnear is totally puttin' it to Kate in the movie (Kinnear is great in everything, btw). But really, the movie steers more towards COMEDY. And I know comedy.

So what did I think?

This movie is awesome. I laughed really heartily, out-loud, gut-busting at a LOT of stuff. Angie Ostrowski is a manic, immature, goofball with no business carrying a flu virus let alone a fetus. Kate Holbrook is a manic, anal retentive, do-gooder with a heart of organic tofu that demands a lot more out of Angie as the host-ut'ris. It's like "The Odd Couple," with spotting! The movie tells the story of these women with hopes and dreams, their polar-opposite personalities and common goals dancing around each other like a Polka in a Mosh Pit. HILARIOUS movie. Seriously. Amy Poehler's great, Steve Martin is again a subtle master, and you just get way more than you deposited. Like getting triplets when all you expected was dinner!

Truly, "Baby Mama" is now OnDemand. On DVD soon, if not already. Totally worth it.
I'm not lying or being snarky, I swear. SEE THIS MOVIE.

Take Me Home

My Blog About My Dad