What You Are Laughing At

Open Mic Monday, Other Lifetime Stories


Sometimes you hope for the best, and you get a lot of good things. Last night at the Comedy Underpants we got a lot of good things. There were 23 comics, including myself, and of that group were 5 professionals, guys who are paid regularly to go into clubs and rooms and rock them right to their feet.

These 5 had the task of reading over a section of newspaper and finding something to riff comedic from. 3 did a great job. One guy went off and was really angry about the President, it kept coming back to Pres. Bush so I guess he's likely voting today (riiiiight). Then the last of the 5 went up with his paper, the Sports section which is his forté, and has NOTHING. Zero. He started working (unfunny) bits from 2 months ago, and one from 8 years ago! Holy lord, that was shameful.

Afterwards, and this is the kicker, he was sitting at a table with the host for the night, a kid named Joe who will be great, and Joe mentioned how impressed he was with the performances of the guys who were riffing out of the paper, Sportsman says "Well, we're pros, kid. That's what we do." Lumped himself in with guys who actually brought something to the table, nice. I thrive on originality and creative thoughts, so when I saw that and heard the comment, I realized that comedy has passed him by. I will never be like that. Grow. Evolve. Be. Believe. And Write Some New Jokes, would ya?

And to prove I'm not just slamming him, I'd like to say the following.
The Safecracker, The Enforcer, and The Accountant all killed last night. These are some of the finest new performers and writers in the area. I love all these kids, and yes, even Mastermind, you sateen shirt-wearing monkey.
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This is my new shirt.

I love this shirt. I was wearing the other night when the Seattle Comedy Mafia’s “Mastermind” saw me.
He thinks it too flamboyant. The woman I was with said she really liked it. I had no idea he was so interested in fashion. Then again, he’s a minimalist when it comes to some things, and I respect that. Especially his blue sateen shirt. I am quite happy with my fashion sense, thank you. But I'm willing to listen. Tell me, should I take the advice of a beautiful woman, or a 35 year-old punk fan who talks to sock puppets? E-mail me your opinions at MasterMindsFashionSense@eltonjohnspajamas.com !!!

Confidence is very sexy.