What You Are Laughing At

Prob'ly my last Blogger blog

2011-10-03T13:11:00.000-07:00

So I'm moving my coordinates in the Blogosphere over to this address:HTTP://CRITICALDAD.WORDPRESS.COMIt's been 8 years of hammering through some death-inviting blogs here at Blogger.But I need/want to monetize this writing like it was 2006, and Blogger's got one of those built-in technical blocks that keeps me from doing just that. They aren't targeting me, it's just a coding issue that keeps me

Football Seasoning

2011-08-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

Workin' It - Perspectives

2011-08-17T08:40:00.000-07:00

It’s been over 5 years since I had a permanent, full-time, benefits+retirement+paid vacation job. 5 years. 1,500 days. I had one for a short time in 2008, but also had a few chances to make something bigger happen in my life, and thus happened the California misAdventures. Still, I wouldn’t trade those 14 months for anything in the world. However, I think a lot of folks may be taking what’s

Battle Of The Blands

2011-08-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

Revelation last week. While watching a comedian I really like and respect perform a very similar bit to one of mine, my lap felt cold. My joke-boner fell. Frankly, it's true that I have re-hashed too much work within my comedy. It's been too long since I introduced anything truly new, a chunk or a bit or a longer-form run of humor. It's important that I write what I think is funny, but

The Possibility Of Assholery

2011-07-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

Assholery is not an actual word per the uptight, ungroomed editors of Wikipedia and Websters. But I use the word to describe the general activity of people who are unaware, negligent, narcissistic (on the first try!), and on the whole, unpleasant. An unpleasant hole. Full of crap, hot air, ungroomed, bad oils. Asshole. And it takes one to know one.I know this because I can be the biggest

You Probably Think This Blog Is About You

2011-07-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

Get over it already. Cheez-its GRAPES, be an adult, would you?The only thing I can suggest is to take a really honest look at yourself (you can't) and go get some counseling with a real counselor (you won't). Tell that counselor what you think is wrong with everybody around you. And if that counselor is bilking you they'll tell you exactly what you want to hear and you'll come back. Or if

Screwing Old Guys on Craigslist Over A Mirror

2011-06-02T12:54:00.000-07:00

A few years ago my wife wanted a mirror for our place that was simple, elegant, and didn't carry a reflection of long-dead Pig War participants. She found one through West Elm ("World Market items at Masins prices!") and we ordered it and hung it up. It was/is a nice little piece. Rectangular, borderless, with a glass shelf in the lower-quarter of it. It's a nice addition to an entryway,

I'm Over Contract Work, Thanks

2011-06-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

I have been working on-contract since 2006, when Cingular bought AT&T and handed me over to a boss who was "passionate about delivering quality metrics." I had no upward mobility in that organization, and was so angry about the jackload who was managing me at the time being allowed to manage at all that I took off. I said "Later days, better lays" and went the contract route. It's been good

My Favorite Guitar Solo Of All Time

2011-05-17T21:52:00.000-07:00

I think I have shared this before. I know I've stuck it in Facebook a few times.But this deserves to be shared.A 9-minute masterpiece of a guitar solo. "Ocean" by John ButlerTake Me HomeMy Blog About My DadMC, HOST, CORPORATE, COMEDY, SEATTLE, GEOFF, LOTT

I Do Not Give A Shit, And That's Not Good

2011-05-17T21:11:00.000-07:00

Rebecca Black, 13 years old, untalented, was rumored to be pregnant. All she did was become a public figure with her hit song "FRIDAY," about getting high with Chris Tucker in the front seat or the back seat. Video at the end of this blog. Amazing. CNN spread a fake report about her pregnancy. Is this NOT bullying? If CNN were a freshman in High School it would be prosecuted for that action

Sluts Be Walkin'

2011-05-07T14:44:00.000-07:00

The SlutWalk is quickly replacing The Flash Mob as the Mob de Rigueur, or "nom de plume," for those who don't speak French. While we've seen a slut walk, and some of us have performed the Walk of Shame, let's be frank about the Slut Walk...It's about dicks. Big mustache-sportin', ball-swingin', short-sighted cocks.I am all-for reviving the stocks in the towne square and public hangings. I

Mother's Day, or Mothers Day

2011-05-05T20:25:00.000-07:00

I'm still confused about why we have a Mother's Day. That is to say, a single day to celebrate Mom. Again, it's a whittled-down, brunch-heavy version of ancient goddess worship. From Isis to Gaia to Rhea to Tyra, societies spent much of their time in loving fear of these females. Their hope was that they wouldn't be in trouble if mom got home before they had a chance to clean up their attempt

No. 1 to No One - Football!

2011-04-14T13:24:00.000-07:00

Anybody who follows professional football... there goes half the readers I LOVE YOU GUYS NO MATTER WHAT, COME BACK THIS WEEKEND!... knows the story of Jamarcus Russell. Drafted by the Oakland Raiders in 2007, this mountain of a quarterback had a lot of physical prowess. He could whip a ball 60 yards WHILE ON HIS KNEES. Pretty quick. Strong. But that's about it. Lots of guys like that in

Big Brother Sleeps In, Farts On Little Sister

2011-04-07T22:50:00.001-07:00

Let's all admit right now that we have no clue how the government works. You can state all you just copied from a Wiki entry, but on penalty of asshole-waxing you cannot tell me what the Checks & Balances are. (it's how Government sets the standard for all corporations to stifle anything before it gets out of control and actually gets work done) But somehow our government, where the average

Corporate Training & Obedience

2011-03-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

Hi, good morning! Everyone?! Good morning, hi...My name is Denise Szbarski and I am aaaa certified corporate training specialist here, and today I am going to lead our class on the Unified Requirements, Intentions and Negotiations Gathering, or URING, as we like to call it, heh heh heh... NOOOO, not the other word, come on now...Does anybody have any questions at this point? No? Okay, then why

Shit's F'ed

2011-03-27T20:27:00.000-07:00

As I watch the upheaval in the Middle East, North Africa, Japan, and Wisconsin, I make note that most other countries live with a passion about politics that America finds barbaric and frightening. We prefer to withhold such emotion until it really matters, like when our team wins a championship, or Black Friday. Nothing says "You get out your the powerseat or we'll burn your house down" like

Day Dream Job

2011-03-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

I always have loved stand-up comedy. Some of my earliest memories are seeing Steve Martin, arrow through his head, goofin' it up on stage and watching a room full of adults cracking up about it. The people on TV were loving him. He looked like he was loving it right back. That looked like a lot of fun. It wired me, perhaps, to "get" comedy. It tuned my Sense of Humor. Like how blindness

Driving, Me Crazy

2011-03-02T08:22:00.001-08:00

We have one car at the moment. It's not a new thing for us. We're not being self-righteous in our single car'edness. In Los Angeles we had one car that we scooted around in. It was convenient for both our budget and parking. This was before our son was born. This was before the demands of life as parents could really use both of us being auto-mobile. Times have changed. We got the one car

Backing Up

2011-02-07T21:54:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I was regularly on-stage. I don't really know why, but I can easily misdirect any number of reasons to my job, my disinterest in my act, being wiped-out, lacking a stage-hunger, being happy, or any combination of those. There's something lacking in the FIRE department, wherein most of my act should be scrapped while I build up something meatier, more reflective of my

Short Stack of Hot Shots

2011-01-25T14:03:00.001-08:00

Busy. That's what's up. Good-busy. Money-making-busy.Busy as all get-out. Busy as heck. Busy busy busy biz-eye. Already, just this short bit of blogging feels good inside my brain, like twiddling nobs at a mixing board, trimming back that hum, dialing-down that buzz, plugging in your SuperFuzz BigMuff and gettin' ready to lay down some tasty licks. Sustain your tone. Alriiight.I'm a believer but

Rosa Parks It: Tales From The Bus

2011-01-13T11:19:00.000-08:00